The Dangerous Game of the Feeding Interval Obsession

11/20/2011

Some how, some where, new mothers got the message that the gap between when a baby stops a breastfeed and the time they start to need another one matters a very very great deal. 24 hours a day.

It seems to matter beyond all logic and reason. They see this magic number – 90 minutes, 2 hours, 3 hours – as a measure of something sacred.

And it’s crap.

There are mums sitting at home, relaxing and nesting with their gorgeous new baby. There’s a disk from a box set in the DVD player, a cup of tea on the go, a recent chat with a friend. Breastfeeding is going well. Weight gain is fine. Baby is content. But when baby shows hunger cues after only 40 minutes instead of the hoped for 1hr 30 minutes, their heart sinks and they feel a sense something is fundamentally wrong. They aren’t ‘doing it right’. Their friend’s baby ‘goes longer’. Doubts creep in.

As adults, we grab a cup of tea, a glass of water, a sweet, a snack. We respond to our personal cues and we’re flexible depending on time of day, the temperature, our mood, our energy levels. Many go to bed with a glass of water or sip from a bottle throughout the day. I don’t know any adults that look at their watch and say, ‘Only 30 minutes till my next sip of water or mint! Not long now’. But yet we expect teeny growing babies to be governed by this artificial notion of time.

I spoke to a new mother last week who was perfectly HAPPY with her feeding routine but wondered if she should start to stretch her baby’s intervals because ‘that’s what you do’. When I explained that it wasn’t necessarily, she said she was more than happy to go on as she was.

Where do these ideas come from? They don’t come from anyone with any breastfeeding education, nor antenatal classes with breastfeeding professionals, nor books written by those trained to support breastfeeding.

They come from popular baby care books and relatives and peers.

They seem to come from a fundamental misunderstanding of the science of breastfeeding and breastmilk production. Often they come from mid-20th century ideas based around the norms of formula-feeding and pseudo-science. And that’s all incredibly dangerous.

There are still people out there, surrounded by breastfeeding, who believe that a baby who feeds after 4 hours rather than 3 hours will 'take more milk'. There are people who believe that you need to wait and hold a baby off to let your breasts ‘refill’. There are people who believe that when a baby does want to return to the breast after only an hour that must reflect a ‘problem’ and perhaps the mother even has a supply issue.

It’s scary and extremely frustrating that basic messages about how milk production works don’t reach the people who need them.

So what is normal? Well, how long have you got? Because there’s a lot of normal. A newborn should feed a minimum of 8-12 times in 24 hours. That means some might be going every 3 hours and others will be feeding more frequently than 2 hourly. Some babies may feed every 10 minutes every hour. Some may feed for 10 minutes every 2 hours. Some may feed for 40 minutes every 2 hours. For periods in the day, a younger baby will often cluster feed and not be happy away from the breast for any longer than a few minutes at a time. This natural cluster feeding may dominate an evening.

A very common call to the National Helpline goes like this: “My baby used to sleep in the evenings and now he’s awake for 3-4 hours. The only thing that seems to settle him is the breast. I feel like I must not have enough milk as he’s on there for ages. Surely there can’t be anything there.” As the baby swaps from breast to breast, getting small quantities of very high fat content milk and decompressing at the end of a long day, they know exactly what they are doing.

And soon their patterns will change again. Some babies will start to longer intervals in the day as the months go by. But NOT all will.

One of the most popular baby care books (which I better not name) gives a strong direction that while frequent feeding might be occasionally acceptable during growth spurts, this holy cow of the interval between feeds matters greatly. A 3 month old baby might be going 3 hourly intervals but if this isn’t increasing at 4 months, then oh dear. This same writer believes a woman can measure her milk supply by doing a yield test and using a pump to extract milk which apparently will be the equivalent amount to what her baby extracts during a feed using an entirely different process. What this woman doesn’t know about breastfeeding could fill an encyclopaedia.

What I find particularly dangerous about her message that longer intervals are ‘better’ and ‘correct’, is that is means new mothers doubt their milk supply with absolutely no justification. And I know from having spent time on the message boards associated with this writer, many mothers will end up supplementing with formula to try and reach these magic numbers of minutes.

Why?

Babies are no longer being exclusively breastfed and parents are not following Department of Health recommendations because of incorrect information in a baby care book.

There are parents who choose to use formula for a whole host of complex reasons. Some do so happily and some do so miserably. But to do so, merely because you have read a lie in a book, seems tragic to me.

Our knowledge about breasts has been transformed over the last 20 years. Much of the pioneering work has been done in Australia by scientists like Professor Peter Hartmann and Dr. Donna Geddes, Steven Daly and their teams.

We used to think most women had a pretty similar number of milk ducts but the ultrasound research revealed there were less than previously thought and the range was big. One woman had 4 ducts at the nipple. One had 18.

But it’s the findings about breast storage capacity that we need to talk about here. When a baby feeds, some milk is manufactured during the feed itself and some is taken from milk that has been stored in the breasts between feeds.

Ultrasound revealed that a mother’s storage capacity cannot be guessed from breast size. Breast size is obviously not just about glandular tissue. The range in breast storage capacity was huge.

One mother was able to store about 2.6oz per breast. Another woman stored more than 20oz. That's not a typo.

Women with a smaller breast storage capacity had a healthy milk production over a 24 hr period and their babies had good weight gain. But their babies might need to feed more frequently to access this healthy milk production.

Is this a mother with a supply problem?

No, it is not.

Her baby may continue to feed 2 hourly or even more frequently for a few months during the day, cluster feed at certain points and perhaps continue to wake a couple of times hungry at night. Her friend’s baby may settle into a pattern of feeding less frequently over a 24 hour period. This friend’s baby may not be receiving more milk overall.

When breasts are fuller, milk production slows. When breasts are emptier, we make more milk. When babies feed more frequently and from emptier breasts, they receive milk with a higher fat content. Frequent feeding has value. And as human milk has a fat content of around 3-5% compared to some mammals who have a fat content of 40% +, it seems pretty clear we’re designed as a species to need feeding more frequently.

But let’s imagine the mother with the smaller breast storage capacity has read this baby care book. She might become distressed that her baby still wants to feed 2 hourly. She might even try and stretch the interval between feeds in the mistaken belief this will increase her baby’s intake. And in doing so, her breasts spend longer at full storage capacity and their milk production slows and her breasts receive the signal to decrease milk supply.

So in her attempt to stretch between feeds as the advice she is reading suggests she does, she may actually be decreasing her overall milk production in 24 hours and be doing some actual harm.

So what should we suggest to this mum who never seems to be able to stretch her baby to longer intervals in the ways that her friends seem able?

First off, we should congratulate her for responding to her baby’s cues. Thankfully she knew not to try and impose some routine early on and therefore her milk supply is at its maximum capacity. Let’s check breastfeeding is otherwise going well: that feeds are comfortable for her, baby does settle for periods of contentment after a feed (though it may only be an hour or even less, rather than 3), weight gain and nappies are fine and latching and positioning is at maximum efficiency. If all this is true, and never reaching a magic ‘interval’ is her only concern, then we need to make sure she knows as much as possible about how milk production works. It is possible she is one of the mothers who has a minimal breast storage capacity and she will need to feed more in 24 hours to maximise the volume of milk her baby receives. And there might be nothing she can do about that. What happens next is about acceptance and support and attitude.

She has to keep that up for ideally around 6 months if her baby is going to get the full benefits of exclusive breastfeeding. She might need greater support with feeding outside the home – perhaps learning how to feed in a sling or experiment with different positions for different environments. It’s possible she may be woken at night more than her friend with the longer intervals – though we would expect night time intervals to be longer and for her to get a block of longer rest. She may benefit from support on safe bed-sharing practices.

And it is just a matter of months. After solids have been established, patterns will change. It’s surprising what we can cope with for just a few months. We have jars of pickle in our fridge significantly older than that. We may even have toothbrushes that are around that long. In terms of an adult lifetime, it’s a blink of an eye.

What won’t help these mothers is the relentless message that they just need to stretch their baby a little more. That if they leave him to cry for 15 minutes, magically he will take more milk and life will change. That just isn’t what science tells us is true for all women.

Of course breastfeeding isn’t just about milk anyway. Apparently there are people who think that a baby comes to a breast primarily to get milk but I’ve not met a parent of a baby who thinks that’s true. Just as we don’t measure our sips of water, sweets and snacks, we also don’t measure every time our family smiles warmly at us, communicates with us, looks for comfort, hugs us, checks in, helps us to feel safe. No smart phone app can measure all the complexities of our relationship with our baby and all the things that responsive feeding can do. You are trying to count and measure love. That's not going to achieve much other than a flat phone battery. And you could miss out on some magic that you can't go back and live again.

And I’m talking about myself here, by the way. My children under 6 months never went longer than 2 hours between feeds in the day and not much longer at night. My red record books records me feeding at 3 months every 90 minutes or so. So I learnt to feed while babywearing. I went to friendly groups and friendly places and met up with people at home. I read about safe co-sleeping practices which I know beyond a shadow of a doubt saved my bacon. And thankfully, I never felt anything was ‘wrong’. I just trusted my body. I trusted my baby and we worked as a beautiful team. I sat at home on the sofa and fed relatively frequently, enjoyed my box sets and my healthy and not-so-healthy snacks and that was OK. It really wasn’t for long. But the benefits of exclusive breastfeeding will be.

Why should a watch or clock tell me how to be a mother? I’d rather pay attention to my baby.

Sources:

Anatomy of the lactating human breast redefined with ultrasound imaging. DT Ramsay, JC Kent, RA Hartmann, and PE Hartman. 2005.

The magic number and long-term milk production. Nancy Mohrbacher IBCLC

Studies on Human Lactation: Development of the computerized breast measurement system. D.B Cox, R.A Owens, Peter E. Hartmann

Originally written 2011. Updated July 2016.

My book is available now from Amazon.co.uk and from other retailers.

"You may be worried about breastfeeding and worried that it might ‘not work’. This is a common feeling when you live in a society where breastfeeding is often sabotaged by incorrect information, patchy support from a stretched health service and powerful messages from formula companies. But it’s not a feeling that is entirely logical. We are mammals. We get our name from the dangly milk-producing bits. It defines us.

This book aims to make you as well-prepared as possible. I would like you to breastfeed for as long as you want to and as happily as possible. I want you to feel supported.

Some of this new life with baby will be about flexibility, responsiveness and acceptance. If you are used to a world of schedules and decisions and goals, it may be a bit of a shock. Learn about human biology before you think it sounds a bit too scary! Babies are the products of millions of years of evolution, and we are too; if we can just tap into our instincts and trust them a little bit.

Success comes when we tap into those instincts and when we know when to get help when our instincts aren’t answering all of our questions.

Can everyone who wants to breastfeed make it work? No. Not everyone may be able to exclusively breastfeed due to medical issues. Most of these people can give their baby breastmilk, though, which the book also covers. (And let’s not start this journey by imagining you’ll be someone who won’t make it...!)"
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B019JE5E44

328 Comments

Liz Pevytoe, RN, IBCLC link

11/20/2011 05:40:00 pm

Excellent article, as usual.

Watch the baby not the clock, love it. I say sometimes they come for a snack, sometimes a meal and sometimes a feast with dessert, so feeding times will vary.

Relax and enjoy that new baby, yes it is all consuming and tiring but it will be over and done before you can blink your eyes.

Hang in there mommas!

Liz Pevytoe, RN, IBCLC

Juliw Wedderburn link

6/22/2015 12:06:25 am

Well said..in ancient times there were no clocks!

vanessa link

7/4/2015 02:24:17 am

That's what my mom said too and she only breastfeed 5 kids that's a lot

Caz G

7/19/2015 06:58:19 pm

My little on is almost 3 months old and feeds 2hrly - having a mother-in-law who bottle fed continually tell me my child can't still be hungry or surely he doesnt need a feed again has not been helpful. Thanks so much for posting this as its been very reassuring that I'm doing the right thing by me and my bubs. :-)

Inga Turner

6/22/2015 12:04:33 pm

Absolutely correct! Also if you're stressed about eating, then that can transfer to your baby and he/she is going to be stressed. This is supposed to be relaxing, intimate, bonding time with you child. Don't deliberately toss it away because of what some writer or whomever says you're not doing it right. If you're feeding your baby when he/she is hungry, and the world slips away and it's just the two of you, you're doing it right.

Gabrielle Petree

6/22/2015 07:34:16 pm

I love breastfeeding wish it wouldn't end growing up too fast... And I'm a first time momma l😊

Sara

10/25/2017 04:31:43 am

I feel the same exact way, and I hate it when people tell me to feed less or more, I always want to say 'leave us alone, we know what we're doing!' And it is definitely one of my favorite things to do!

Julia Welchman

6/25/2015 01:47:31 am

How nice to offered "a little something" in between times too..at any age. Thanks for this reminder of common sense.

Suzanne Lee link

6/25/2015 05:22:35 am

THANK YOU! This was a great article, I am sharing with my clients!

Linda link

6/25/2015 05:07:42 pm

I demand fed my four children, I never had any problem sometimes it would seem like baby was suckling all day, they were healthy, I happily fed when baby wanted. I had my first child at 17yo. Listen to the cue of buba. I didn't have a watch or clock this was good!!

Mercedes link

4/4/2018 08:22:15 pm

My baby eats every 30 mins is this normal

Vivian Young

6/27/2015 02:27:15 pm

Well said. When my first, my son, was born, the nurses in the hospital tried to get me to keep my son awake to nurse longer. He would nurse just a few minutes, then fall asleep. I told them, "He must be full, he's satisfied. If he wakes up, bring him back." They insisted that he would not sleep long and that they would have to keep waking me. They weren't happy. But I insisted. No set feeding schedule. He will let you know when he is hungry. They agreed to try it my way. They were amazed, and said he was the best, happiest and easiest baby they ever had to care for. He slept longer than the others, they would check on him to make sure he was okay, he was so peacefully sleeping, they were shocked. When the shifted changed, we educated the next group. Demand feedings are the way to go. The baby's body knows when it needs to be fed. It's not rocket science. It's nature. If your milk is rich, it will take less at a time, to satisfy your baby. They will nurse when they need, and as long as they need.

KRISTA GRIFFIN

10/7/2019 04:38:10 pm

I wish more nurses were like this. When my son was born, he was about 6 weeks early, and even though he weighed 6lbs 2 oz at birth, they kept him in the NICU for nearly 2 weeks. I stayed in the hospital with him, thankfully. They tried to get him to feed every 2 hours, round the clock, and if he didn't eat, they'd try to supplement him with finger feeding. He just wanted to sleep. But they kept saying, his weight has gone down, he hasn't gained enough to go home etc. When we finally got home, I did things my way. Watching him, waiting for him to give me his cues. He gained a whole pound the first few days we were home, because he was eating and sleeping enough. Nobody was waking him up to eat when he didn't want to. He ended up sleeping through the night very early on, was a great little eater and weaned himself at 15 months. He's now 10, I miss his baby stage, but he's the best kid and I adore him.

vanessa link

7/4/2015 02:23:20 am

This is so true I never thought about it. my baby of 6 months is exclusive breastfeeding and she eats every two hours or in between the two hours she will feed for a quick snack if she wants it it give it to to her whenever or wherever she wants. I was worried at the beginning reading all these books listening to people I was pumping I was worried she wasn't getting enough or feeding for the time the book would say I didn't think I was still going to produce milk at six months and look at me now my baby is very healthy has a perfect weight she's bigger than most six months baby she's perfect I now listen to my body and my baby not what anyone else her doctor said she's one healthy baby and I'm doing a great job so I enjoy my little one everyday she's a really happy baby

Alice

8/28/2015 01:57:04 pm

This is a wonderful article! Every baby is so different, I can't imagine that all of them should be eating and sleeping on the same schedule - I don't know of two adults with identical eating habits! My older daughter was on one extreme - by 5 months, she nursed only 5 times a day for a total of 15 minutes, and was a very large baby. She was just an efficient eater and could easily drink 6-8 oz. (I pumped at work and was therefore confident about how much milk she got.) she nursed for 17 months, and now as a toddler still eats really well and likes "big" meals. My younger daughter, on the other hand, spent the first 2 months basically attached to my breast. She nursed too many times to count. We just tried solids at 6.5 months and she's not really into them - her sister loved solids. She has finally settled into a more predictable routine in the last month or so, nursing about 6 times a day.

Gina

12/18/2015 05:03:18 am

I have been nursing my son every hour, 24 hours a day for 6 months because I want him to thrive. He is fat and gassy but otherwise OK. I will keep this schedule because you can never breastfeed a baby too much.

Cather

1/30/2016 09:52:59 pm

I have to agree with this article, so many moms think they don't have enough milk so they supplement, that is NOT the answer, feed more often and your milk production goes UP! I breast mine all for a year, and often fed my boys twice within an hour.

Raelyn

2/15/2016 11:01:44 am

Unfortunately, my son was exclusively breastfed, and he nursed twice every hour on demand. I loved breastfeeding but I felt like something wasn't quite right. As it turns out, I do have a supply issue and we didn't figure it out until he was almost 8 months old. He stopped gaining weight. So we had to switch to formula. So to say that there is no such thing as low supply is wrong, I couldn't produce enough to keep him satisfied. But now that he's on formula, he's as happy as ever and already walking at just 10 months old!
So you see, there are supply issues, its unfair to say there isn't.

Veronica

2/1/2016 06:04:22 pm

Kudos to you for wanting to exclusively breastfeed. What you're doing is saintly and beneficial for your baby. But what about the other mothers who have more than one child, who just want a little bit of time to themselves after a 16 hour day of doing it all? Are they selfish? No. We all need a frickin break. And my baby takes a breast and bottles and is still not happy after less than 2 hours. I can't keep this up- I just can't. I have more than one child, and can't even eat by the time it's time for lunch because of taking care of the BASIC needs of 2 children... Something isn't right....

Reg

2/22/2016 05:21:33 am

I think the point is that telling you to space out feeding to match an arbitrary schedule is unfair to you and your baby because we're all unique, both mothers and babies. The article didn't criticize anyone's choices on how our what to feed but in giving inaccurate counsel which often causes women to believe they have a physical problem that may not be true or think their baby isn't doing well when in actuality baby is doing what is right as an individual.
The article is in support of mothers, of you, making choices based on intuition and accurate information that create powerful and peaceful solutions to your own unique circumstances.
Having been an exclusive breastfeeding mother with several children, I empathize. It isn't easy. I offer that deciding what is most important for your life goals and mothering goals will help you in choosing what to do. Know why exactly you are choosing to do the things you are. What is the intention? What are the payoffs--even the silly ones and the "selfish" ones? What are the benefits to others? What are the costs--emotional, financial, physical, etc...? What are the alternatives? How do those alternative compare and contrast in answer to the previous questions?
If you're breastfeeding with other little ones is helpful to double up on things: story time while feeding baby, color time, nap time all at once (mommy, baby, and others all lying down together--do it on the floor of you must), snack time when baby is feeding, etc... But only do those things during a time when baby is eating to help you out a bit.
Set a minimum standard for the house: the floor must be swept and/vacuumed everyday by 3:00pm, for example, and everything else is bonus. You can pick your own standard but if you're expecting an immaculate house as if you were having photos for a fancy magazine taken, you may be asking a bit much of yourself while giving your baby the gold your breasts produce. So. What can the little ones do? They can put toys in the box. They can pick up shoes. They can throw papers on the trash/recycling. They can do things like this while your feeding your wee one, you make it fun with a song or counting in silly voices and making them very small tasks (5-10 items at a time), giving a reward when finished like snuggles, tickles, a show, a treat, etc...
Employing helpful "hacks" and tips, helpers, and cutting out optional stresses can really help. Being gentle with yourself and allowing yourself to make choices necessary to your main goals within your core value system is the best thing you can do. Also, something I'm not the most awesome at doing is planning ahead. Planning ahead will save your butt more than anything. Know what foods you're going to serve the day before, know what books you're going to read, know what shows you're okay showing your children and what time they air so you can use those as a reward, know what time of past of the day you want everyone to have quiet time, etc...
Declare to yourself every morning and night that you are awesome, you are an amazing mother, you are a powerful problem solver, you make size and well educated choices and decisions, you are inspired, you are the Queen of your Kingdom, you are the expert in your home, you are stronger than any opposition, and you are divine. You can do whatever it is you know is right for you and your family. You have permission to make and follow through with those decisions. You are a GREAT Mother.

Hélène

6/11/2016 03:47:24 pm

I totally get what you're saying. I had 2 that tandem nursed even, meaning one toddler and one baby both nursing. Often together, yes. The toddler still nursed in middle of night some at first. I was touched OUT! My poor husband couldnt get any for several months! Do not touch me...
That said, it was a lovely time. I wouldnt have done it had I hated it. You give the baby bottles you said, so get a sitter for half a day and go do nothing. Dont shop, dont meet friends, just BE. Read, look at flowers in a conservatory, lay in a park and watch clouds, meander thru a nature path, stare at an ocean or lake, blare classical music i dont know, but whatever is relaxing and just you. Dont be around alot of ppl, get my meaning? Dont do a damn thing.
THEN, throw out the bottles and set yourself to nursing for a few days to build up your supply. It will be often and long and all nite most likely (sleep with the baby). Tell daddy you re not doing dinner for a few days, he can make it, order take out, hire a teen to cook, whatever. Dont do housework or anything beyond strictly necessary to keep the older child safe and semi-fed.
You have to find a way to let stuff go for the next 6-9 mos so you can be a happy momma to your two kids and a happy wife to your husband who supports you all so you can stay home and be the momma. Housework needs to be bare basics, hire a teen to clean weekly if possible. Learn to clean as you cook, pick up the house several times a day WITH the older child to train them. Get daddy to fold laundry and start a load when needed. You transfer and put away.
This time is important for your baby and he needs the liquid gold you make. But you need to be happy too. Prioritize for this very short time of babyhood so everyone's needs can be met. Daddy can bathe and put the older kid down at nite. Once shes out of the tub, you take a bath, soaking with a book or listening to music. If the baby needs you daddy brings him in then comes to get him when hes done and awake still or at least when you are ready to get out. Can you imagine every nite having this?? Yay!
Building up your milk so you can get two hrs btwn feedings is hard for a few days but worth it. I learned to do many things while nursing a baby lol Baby wearers are good too if your baby isnt a fat chub like mine were. Keeps them happy and you can focus on the older child. But you can read and have a tea party, varoom varoom cars on a table, etc with baby in arms.
Hope you feel better about your situation. There is HOPE.

Brooke Mitchell link

7/5/2016 09:46:19 pm

Reg, your comment was sooo inspiring and helpful. gonna write a blog post thanks to you.

8/2/2016 06:03:26 pm

This is exactly what I was thinking. Without a bit of spacing out the feedings, how will I get anything accomplished with three children?

third time around

1/23/2019 04:18:30 am

Veronica, I feel you. This is my 3rd child and she wants to nurse every 45 to 90 minutes. Currently just fed for the 5th time in 5 hours and cries every time I put her down. I'm exhausted too and I have my 2 other kids to take care of and to constantly implore to be quiet so the baby can sleep. I feel you, I just want to have my hands FREE for more than 10 minutes at a time. But I found this article to be a comfort because I was guilty of trying to space the feedings out instead of just going with the flow- I think the point here was to encourage us that there's no "normal." I too have considered switching to formula just for the relief, who knows maybe I will. But for now I'll try to stick it out with the nursing. My first 2 kids were breastfed and they weren't this demanding, good to know this 3rd one isn't abnormal. I know my reply is years later than your post so to other mamas out there, like the other posters say, you do what's best for you. Emma, thanks for the article, this will certainly help others to relax and trust their instincts instead of what others say "should" be.

clare link

2/12/2016 09:15:12 pm

I admit to thinking this way with my 1st. How silly!! Feed them when theyre hungry!!

Mel Moore

8/4/2016 09:30:30 am

I so do not agree with this article, I have had 5 babies & never needed to be feeding that frequent unless babies are building milk , if babies are feeding too frequent & there is adequate supply then babies are using the breast for comfort & if mothers are happy to be the babies dummy - by all means go for it , however this can actually deter many new mothers & make them feel overwhelmed & give up breast feeding before they need to.

Kasey Pritchard

6/7/2018 05:28:18 am

What is wrong with comforting your baby?

Rimzy

5/14/2019 09:58:30 pm

So what do you suggest we do when baby cries and demands a feed all the time? They cannot be comforted any other way or by anyone else.
My 6 week baby (now) feeds constantly and yes it is exhausting but it’s what the baby wants.

You say you do not agree with the article and cannot be true, you have been blessed with your 5 to not have to go through this.

You say its just for comfort, so as mentioned above what else do you suggest we do when the baby cries for milk and shows signs of hunger every so often?

Mel

4/11/2021 09:35:39 am

At last someone raising the fact that the desire to ‘feed’ is often actually a desire for comfort/soothing by sucking! We need to teach our babies to self sooth at some point/to some extent, which was my understanding as to why presenting the breast or bottle on demand wasn’t always wise. We don’t give in to our child when they constantly ask for food due to boredom.

Rachel Middleton

6/27/2017 10:35:06 pm

This is such a great article! I wish I had read this with my first and second babies. I was always watching the clock and feeling discouraged. This time around I am exclusively breastfeeding twins and they are doing great and they feed all the time! Thanks for the encouragement!

Srini

3/1/2019 04:53:08 am

Really loved this information

Lauren link

4/13/2014 10:58:27 pm

Really good & informative post, thank you. It's so hard to know what advice is right when there's so much out there & you're a sleep-deprived & anxious new mum!

claire

6/7/2014 03:07:29 pm

Thank you!! I cannot tell you what reassurance your article has given me. My baby is 10 weeks old and rarely goes beyond 2 hours gap in the day. My peer group are all 3-4 hour routine fixated and I have felt incredibly inadequate this week and that I must be getting it wrong. Even my health visitor told me I should be stretching him to 3 hours 'by now'. Thanks again.

Jenny

7/22/2014 08:39:18 am

Hi there I just wanted to say that you are doing fine. We have so much competition about children achieving milestones and it is nonsense. My first baby was always on the boob and wanted rocked and talked to, the next one chose the four hour thing for himself. Same me, same boobs, different baby. They have both grown through healthier childhoods than many of their peers with the pushy mums. Chill and enjoy your child.

Jem link

6/22/2015 04:03:21 am

My first fed hourly (I could set my watch by her!) and my second went every 3 hours or so once he was out of the tiny newborn stage. Same boobs (sort of..), same parenting technique, same access to boob - just different babies. Am sure you're doing just fine! :)

S V

4/27/2020 06:16:36 pm

My 7 week baby is currently feeding every 45 mins or so
Not sure if he's overfeeding
Is it normal?

Emma Pickett

6/7/2014 03:48:48 pm

You are NORMAL!! Not getting it wrong in the slightest! Keep up the great work. Keep your focus on biology, instinct and what matters x

Maxine

7/20/2014 05:09:47 pm

Love it! Great reading and needs sharing far and wide! I have 4 children and have spent at least ( all told) 6 years of my life breastfeeding! Read every book on the shelf about routines and got nowhere and have no regrets! My youngest is 21 months and I may have to start weaning her because of other family problems but have to say I will miss breastfeeding so much and have no idea where to begin... It will be sad to have to say no when she tells me to 'sit down' mummy... Which means she's wants a feed!

Vicky

7/19/2014 12:24:40 pm

This is one of the key things that I say to any new mum friends. I felt like something was wrong with my first as I was told 4 hours etc. I then realised that baby knows better & ever since everything was so much easier. Need to say that I am much more relaxed now I'm on baby 3 :)

Katharine

7/19/2014 04:13:56 pm

Fantastic article! I've shared on our local bf support page.

7/19/2014 04:48:18 pm

Wonderful explanation of breast storage capacity and examples of how to look after yourself in the early days. Babywearing, co-sleeping, sitting on sofa watching DVD's etc. Shared in Australia too :)

Lisa

7/20/2014 01:09:24 am

I totally I agree with all of that, I felt I could of written that myself.
I too get frustrated when I here new mums getting the wrong information and been told it's great that their newborn go's 6 hours in the night before the next feed!
Great for sleep, but not for your milk supply!!!

Victoria

7/20/2014 08:56:02 am

Very interesting and I hope that it reaches lots of doubting ladies. It works both ways too though: my son went a very maximum of 2 hours between the start of one feed to the start of the next (day and night) until 10 weeks old. When he then started going longer I panicked and worried that he wasn't eating enough! I still find myself counting number if feeds in 24 hours s d worrying that its not enough! Rationally I know everything is going well, but I think we are pre-programmed to worry! Xx

Emma Pickett

7/20/2014 09:26:44 am

Interesting point, Victoria. The worry can certainly go the other way for mums whose babies do feed less frequently or for less amount of time! I've worked recently with a mum told to 'feed more frequently' because surely her intervals were too long and that must be the problem with weight gain- when actually the problem was ineffective latching and positioning and this baby continued being a little bloke with longer than average intervals. More frequent feeding just meant mum got more sore and damaged. Assumptions can go both ways. We should look at weight gain and nappies and our babies to have a sense of what's normal. We listen to our instincts too.

Emma Pickett

7/20/2014 09:43:57 am

Thanks to everyone who has shared this post. I very much appreciate it. From my experience in supporting mums, I know this information makes a real difference to new mums' confidence and whether those who wish to exclusively breastfeed will manage to reach their goals.

Johanna Sargeant link

1/19/2016 06:40:14 pm

Very happy to share a post of such quality -- thanks for taking the time to write it with such passion! I had a mother question me recently about the need for intervals between feeds in order for a baby's blood sugar to stabilise, or something similar that she had heard. I didn't know anything about it, and know only the info you stated above... Do you have any info or links about such a thing, so I can continue the education band-wagon? Thanks so much again.

Brianna

12/7/2019 02:45:40 am

Thank you so much for this article!
I was just saying to myself today as a first time mom of a two month old baby who is struggling to get on anything close to a schedule (it feels literally impossible), that;
There is something wrong with my baby, or
I am an incapable mother.
I know in my heart that neither is true. My baby is the most wonderful thing, he is just perfect. And how can I be a bad mother if this baby has all of my heart and attention. Even though being a mom isn’t easy, every minute is filled with love and purpose. I know this to be true but as a first time mother it is so hard not to worry. Worried there is something wrong with his metabolism, something wrong with my breast milk, or that I’m doing something wrong on the days we breastfeed all day.
Perhaps the truth is that I am being given too many solutions instead of suggestions. This is not just from friends and family, I know my mother is only is trying to make me feel better and fix it for me. But I also know family and friends are not professionals and their opinions are not facts. I find it much more damaging to be hearing about how I should be producing and scheduling breastfeeding from nurses, doctors, lactation specialist, baby apps, and mommy blogs.
Though I am so impressed and grateful for how much support and kindness I have received and is available to new moms, I do wish I was told every baby and mother breastfeeding duo is as unique as a thumbprint and there is no solution because there is no problem.

Megan

7/20/2014 05:11:18 pm

I appreciate the support! My question is still waking my sleeping babe to nurse if it gets to be too long (over 3 hours during the day or 4 at night). There are times I think she could sleep forever! I hate to wake her but I know she needs to eat too and sometimes my breasts REALLY need her to as well. What would you say to that?!

Jenny

7/22/2014 08:48:33 am

Why do you want to wake your baby?
They won't hunger themselves unless there is a problem, and you would know in other ways if he was ill. His tummy will tell him when to waken, you just get on with your thing til he calls. Babies are central to our lives but we shouldn't hang up our own personality to be mums it makes us boring.

Michelle

7/3/2015 07:09:08 pm

Yes, but there is a need to be careful with new mums in those first few weeks with demand feeding, as young babies can be very sleepy (especially if there is jaundice) and milk production is still building up. My sister in law almost had a very very sick baby as she let her sleep for 7-11 hours between feeds, thinking she would wake up when she was hungry!

Sally

9/14/2020 08:18:26 pm

My 3 week old baby would sleep for 5 hours before I woke her. She gave up trying to feed as I had no milk, so she slept. That is one reason why you need to look at the clock.

Emma Pickett

9/15/2020 07:25:26 am

Sally says: "My 3 week old baby would sleep for 5 hours before I woke her. She gave up trying to feed as I had no milk, so she slept. That is one reason why you need to look at the clock."

I'm sorry to hear this was your experience. This article is focused on those for whom 'breastfeeding is going well and weight gain is fine' and wouldn't be applicable to all babies. We monitor babies by assessing nappy output and looking at weight gain. Usually we suggest waking young babies who are particularly sleepy and are struggling to feed sufficiently in 24 hours. A breastfeeding counsellor, La Leche League leader, midwife or lactation consultant can help you understand next steps if you are worried about your baby. This article is about the babies who are doing well in terms of weight gain and milk intake over 24 hours.

Michelle

7/3/2015 07:07:44 pm

if under a month it's important to make sure your baby is putting on weight and not showing any signs of jaundice. Alsi your milk production is still building up in the early days. I agree totally with this article except that there is a need to be careful with new mums in those first few weeks with demand feeding, as young babies can be very sleepy (especially if there is jaundice) and milk production is still building up. My sister in law almost had a very very sick baby as she let her sleep for 7-11 hours between feeds, thinking she would wake up when she was hungry!

Amy

5/8/2016 02:42:58 am

This is what happened to me after 1 day with my baby. She was crying a lot so the nurses gave her a painkiller, she then slept for 7 hours and didn't eat. The result - hypoglycaemia, and 2 weeks in intensive care as my baby couldn't stabilise her sugars.
It all worked out fine in the end and she breastfeeds on demand now every hour and a half to two hours during the day, but we had a very sick baby at the start and a lot of stress, which could have been avoided by waking her to feed.
I am completely for the principle of on demand feeds, but we do need to be careful with newborns.

Steph

1/2/2018 09:57:28 pm

I am curious about this too, letting them nap a super long nap in the day without feeding I understand they won’t starve themselves but will it mess up milk supply? Do we just pump and still wait for them to wake up on their own? I don’t want to dry up and the info out there is so contradictory it’s hard to know what to do lol I just want to Continue HAVING milk for my babe. So I wonder if Emma could answer us on this one and I also wonder about pacifiers I ended up giving mine one bc we had 45 min car ride to doc and it was heart breaking for her to scream lol but now she prefers it for soothing and I wonder if it doesn’t mess with our feeding groove too 😬
Ps this article was enlightening and I plan to re-read it ❤️

Emma Pickett

7/21/2014 02:22:44 am

Depends a lot on baby's age and things like weight gain. Personally, I would continue to wake a baby under 2 months 3hrly in the day and 4 hourly at night. If a mum was struggling with lack of sleep and baby had no jaundice, was back up to birth weight, weight gain good, then longer at night may be preferable. I would continue to offer all baby's by 3-3.5 hours in the day just because it's so easy to tip into a reverse-cycling pattern where babies feed less in the day (when there's lots to see and do) and compensate at night. I also want a young baby to be getting any decent long blocks of sleep of 3hrs+ at night.

When babies first start to go longer, boobs may feel a little sore. We may have to tolerate a little of that to allow hormones like FIL to send messages to adjust our supply accordingly. When babies first start to sleep longer at night, it can be quite uncomfortable but the body will settle down after a little while.

C.H.

6/22/2015 08:44:37 am

I definitely wouldn't. Both my babies slept through the night at 5 weeks, waking once around 3am. If I don't have adequate sleep, I'm worthless as a mom during the day. In fact, your advice is exactly against what the article was in favor of.

Paige

6/23/2015 08:35:32 am

My daughter is just shy of 3 months and she feeds every 10 minutes to 3 hours during the day. At night, she sleeps usually without waking. She goes to bed about midnight (I'm working towards getting her to sleep earlier but she is stubborn), and usually sleeps between 6-9 hours on her own. She doesn't wake up crying, but rather smiling and cooing, and although she is really hungry on her first feed of the day she settles down and tells me when she's hungry. I haven't really paid much attention to what other people have been saying about BF because I have just let my baby tell me what she wants.

Emma

7/21/2014 10:10:07 pm

What a fantastic article. I have a 3 month old son who feeds between 2 to 3 hours during the day and sleeps through the night.There is still the notion about stretching feeds out, but if my son feeds frequently during the day and sleeps well overnight I'm really happy. He is my third child after twins, so everything is much more relaxed and it's easier to feed on cue than with 2.

Diana

3/3/2017 12:34:06 am

Emma I have a 9 week old almost 10
Weeks and just recently he started sleeping 7 hours at night, I don't wake him I don't think I have to like u mentioned and during the day he nurses every 2-3 hours.

Emma Pickett

7/22/2014 09:24:25 am

I'm not very comfortable with that comment, Jenny. Many healthcare professionals would recommend waking a very young baby. 2/3 of babies have some form of jaundice. Young babies may not always exhibit clear feeding cues especially once blood sugar levels have dipped below a certain threshold.
Regular feeding also prevents engorgement, develops supply and allows positioning and attachment practise.

When babies are older, back up to birth weight and in good health, we may let them go for more extended intervals. Assuming they are not reverse-cycling which is also a common problem!

Emma

7/22/2014 07:09:30 pm

Hi Emma Pickett. Not sure if the last comment was for me or Jenny. My son is a big boy nearly 7kg and is gaining good amounts of weight each week. Our health nurse is very pleased with his progress. Initially he had day and night mixed up but after waking him 3 hourly during the day he turned it around.

Michelle

7/3/2015 07:14:58 pm

thanks for clarifying that, Emma. As I said in my comments to both Jenny and the other Emma, my sister in law (1st time mum) almost had a very, very sick baby as she was letting her sleep for long stretches without realising the baby had jaundice. She then went through 2 weeks in hospital with mastitis and cysts as her milk production got all stuffed up when she then had to suddenly increase feeds and supplement and pump to get her baby back to good health.

Emma Pickett

7/22/2014 09:58:30 pm

Sounds great :) Not many babies at 7kg would still need waking at night!!! Follow his cues and your instincts.

Liz Healy

6/20/2015 10:37:25 pm

I am not comfortable with the statement, "Not many babies at 7kg would still need waking at nigh" Yes many do and isn't that the whole point of this article to not set arbitrary measures to guide feeding?

Emma Pickett

6/22/2015 02:16:15 am

They often naturally wake. They do not require artificial 'waking' unless there is an underlying health problem and mum has been medically advised to do so.

Adran link

7/23/2014 02:07:50 am

Hi Emma,

I have a 10 week baby girl and my biggest wish is to go back to exclusive breast feeding. At 3 weeks my HV bullied me into combo feeding. My baby has bad colic as well as mild acid reflux and it's a long process to get her fully fed. My little girl thoroughly enjoys her food mostly via breast than bottle. It gives me a high when I see her maintaining eye contact, raising and playing with her little legs and raising her little hand to touch my face. To me these are all signs she's enjoying her breast feed.

In 24 hours she has 60mls of formula at each feed and the rest is breast (I usually offer her breast first). My question is how do I eliminate these bottle feeds and go back to exclusive breast feeding without her dropping into dangerous percentile? And what can do to increase my supply?

I really would love to at least give her 3 months exclusive breast feeding before I wean her onto solids. Please help...

Many thanks in advance.

Jemma

6/22/2015 09:03:58 am

Hello. I just wanted to say that it is totally possible to wean back to just exclusive breastfeeding. I was told it wasn't, but I was so determined to do it. Both my babies had problems regaining their birth weight. Both times I was pushed into formula supplementing. But for the 2nd time around, I decided that I knew more than I had the first and would try to return to ebf. Not moral judgement on mixed feeding, my first girl was. I just find it all a big faff trying to get the bottles organised. Anyhow with my second, I mix fed for a fortnight or so. And then I began to reduce the formula at each feed. And then to skip a formula after a feed and eventually I was back to just bf. It took a while, I paid great attention to feeding cues and probably ended up putting her to the breast more often than absolutely necessary initially, but I wanted to make sure she was getting as much from me as possible.

The paediatrician I saw 5 months later acted like I'd performed some sort of minor miracle when we went back. I feel that maybe I would've given up if I'd been told it was difficult or impossible. But it really wasn't too hard because I didn't know it was supposed to be.

Wishing you luck! Be kind to yourself!

Emma Pickett

7/23/2014 04:21:23 am

Hi Aran,

Could you email me directly? Bit tricky to use this blog comment format to have lengthy discussion. Really happy to chat via email. Start by reading my blog on low supply which has ideas for increasing milk production.

Emma

Peta

7/24/2014 10:18:49 am

This is very useful and partially reassuring. I say partially because I have a) hypothyroidism b) pendulum shaped breasts with extremely large areolas so would like to know if this is contributing to my 3 week old cluster feeding morning, afternoon and evening into early hrs of morn. However, my question is what if he is also falling asleep for 10 mins almost immediately (5 min) after latching on? Do I let him do this or make him wait?

Emma Pickett

7/24/2014 12:29:34 pm

Hi Peta,
When a mum has a thyroid issue it is important they are tested carefully as it can contribute to milk supply issues. It's worth asking for up-to-date testing if your doctor is relying on pre-birth results. Not all doctors - even specialists - are aware of the levels required for lactation.
If you are concerned about breast shape and the possibility of insufficient glandular tissue, it's worth meeting with an IBCLC in person. It's very difficult to be certain even after a physical examination but there are markers as it sounds like you are aware. An IBCLC may also look at things like audible swallowing and milk transfer rate. You could even use a technique called 'test weighing' to access milk intake during a feed.

Making More Milk by Diana West is a great book that touches on both these areas and gives great practical advice.

At this stage, we'd start by asking you about nappies and weight gain. Back up to birth weight and putting on around 30g a day. Around 2-3 stools in 24hrs - that's what we hope to see.

If a baby appears to stop active feeding after only 5 minutes, it might be worth trying a technique called breast compressions. Google for Jack Newman's video and handout.

If you are worried that feeding may not be effective, try and find someone to check your positioning and attachment as that will also be key.

Young babies DO feed frequently and they do cluster feed but with your medical history worth doing some double checking with some real life support. You may well be on this already!

Peta

7/27/2014 11:01:17 am

Dear Emma,

Thank you very much for your comments I will check my thyroid with the doctor, do the levels need to be in the normal range or should they be high/er?

I would love to see a lactation consultant but I can't find any local ones. I live in South Devon in between Plymouth and Exeter. Do you have any contacts?

I believe that the baby is putting on weight at a normal rate and we have regular dirty nappies. Though unless I stay upto 1 hr on one breast the colour will be green rather than yellow. I feed for about 1 1/2 hrs at a time and understand the more I read that this is not unusual. It is however very hard so I would like to know if you think this will get quicker as my milk is more established or whether things will stay the same. I just want to have realistic expectations.

Thank you for your time
Peta

lynsay

7/25/2014 07:50:57 am

Hi Emma, great article.
my daughter is 4 wks old and gained 2lb 6 oz in her first 20 days. Initially she fed beautifully to a contented nap, now in the night she feeds 2 hourly then naps, but day time more frequently and thrashes, kicks, cries after about 10 mins. I started expressing yesterday with the aim to 'fill her up' at the end of a feed but am nervous of choking her (first time for me too using bottle). Is thus behavior a common phase in newborns? Any suggestions? X

Lojja

4/7/2020 08:07:09 am

Hi Iynsay!!! I know this is such a delayed comment, and your little one would probably be schooling by now. But you are the only one I found in the internet with my same problem. I'm a first time mom and my LO is almost 8weeks now. She has this same 10min thrashing around behaviour you had mentioned. It's Soo frustrating... I feel helpless.. Could you please help me out and enlighten me on what actually happened to your LO behaviour, or did u figure out the reason and fix it ?? I Soo want to EBF my baby. I pray you read this comment and help me out... Please be following your email.

Emma Pickett

7/25/2014 10:30:52 am

Hi
This really can be normal behaviour in a newborn and at this stage we've got growth spurts and cluster feeding flying around all over the place. I would be very wary of adding in a regular pattern of giving her expressed milk by bottle as it could be adding a complication that is unnecessary and isn't giving your body a chance to receive all the signals it needs to from her.

A baby is likely to get fussier at the breast after bottle use rather than less fussy so we need to be careful. If you feel certain you want to use a bottle, check out the videos on 'paced bottlefeeding' on YouTube.

At the 10 minute mark, a baby might be asking for the second breast. Especially if it's hot and she needs extra hydration. I would suggest that when she's fussy try some breast compressions. Then offer the second side and even go back to the first side again after that. After 10 minutes, it is possible for a baby to have effectively finished a breast (although breasts are never completely empty).

Check she's not overdressed and getting hot. Check she doesn't just need a burp which could also explain this behaviour.

I would try and meet with an IBCLC or BFC face-to-face to get an understanding of what's happening.

This is far more likely to be a normal behavioural pattern than your supply has mysteriously diminished and topping up is required.

lynsay

7/30/2014 12:17:38 am

Thanks Emma. We have done as suggested, the main thing however that im unsure of is when i offer either breast and she continues crying, kicking off etc, what action should i take? If i move her away from my breast and put it away she reverts to the suckling action and going for her hands which is usually her cue for feed me. So i then offer a breast and she 'messes' with it and doesn't seem interested but continues playing up. I wonder if this is why she is also feeding more frequent as i feel she isn't getting her fill. (were not topping up with bottle. We decided to use this only when out or in away for a few hours but she does exactly the same with a bottle)
I feel in missing something and not helping the situation but don't know what. X

Emma Pickett

7/25/2014 10:32:48 am

Just to add her initial weight gain was extraordinary which makes it even less likely she requires a top-up. It could be you have a pretty forceful letdown accompanying a generous supply and even after 6-7 minutes she's ready for the other side.

blydie

7/25/2014 04:57:38 pm

One of the best posts I've ever read!!

Emma Pickett

7/28/2014 04:40:48 am

Hi Peta,

This article has a lot to wade through but contains information about thyroid levels. They do need to be slightly higher than is considered normally 'OK'.

http://www.breastfeedingconferences.com.au/php/dlArticle.php?id=6

There are several IBCLCs in Devon. I assume you've been through this list on lcgb.org:

http://www.lcgb.org/consultants_local_south_west.html#D

To be honest, 1.5 hours is slightly longer than we would consider normal for active feeding. A baby at this age might do a couple of bouts of cluster feeding that are this long or longer. It's unusual for this to be a normal feed length however. Babies can get faster as they get older and more effective so it's unlikely to stay like this forever. If you're happy that latching is effective, you're feeding in response to cues, you are using breast compressions as baby slows and stops actively feeding, you're changing sides when they stop active feeding (you can always go back to the first side again) - you're covering most of your bases.

If you'd like a more private conversation, do feel free to email me directly.

Best Wishes,
Emma

Ali

7/28/2014 07:56:22 am

Would you be able to add an image to your wonderful articles? I run an online support group and we share information and articles VIA a pinterest board, and I would love to share this with them.

Alison

7/29/2014 12:49:11 am

Thanks for a great article - I wish I had had this reassurance when my baby was newborn. He is now 9mths and I'm still confused about whether I'm doing things right or not! We've had a lot of trouble due to tongue tie. The first 3mths his weight gain was fine but I was in agony (worse than labour!) and feeding constantly for 1hr+ each time. 3-6mths my pain improve but his weight gain dropped off the chart and I had to wake him every night for an extra feed and top up with expressed milk. Since starting solids his weight is back on track but he appears to have cmp allergy so I'm expressing when I can to supplement food but I'm exhausted! My question is how often should he be breastfeeding now he's on 3 meals a day? It seems to vary a lot from 2 to 4+ feeds of varying lengths and I'm concerned about the effects on my supply. I'm also getting bitten quite a lot with each new tooth that appears (he now has 6). Is there any advice out there for mums feeding older babies? There seems to be an assumption that we should know what we're doing by now but they are constantly changing and I still always feel like I'm doing it all wrong! Many thanks

Emma Pickett

7/30/2014 12:36:00 am

Hi Ali,

This post is from a while ago. No current plans to add an image. Please feel free to cut and paste the text into a new format. Just mention me somewhere!

Emma Pickett

7/30/2014 12:38:35 am

Hi Alison,
Sorry you've had a rough start. That's a long time to be in pain and you're a star to keep going. There are a few issues here that are a bit off-topic for this blog and probably not ideal to discuss in this format. Could you email me directly? Address on my contact page. Thanks. Emma.

Emma Pickett

7/30/2014 12:43:58 am

I guess the reality is that she may be getting her fill. Perhaps she wants to feed more frequently because she's thirsty, seeking comfort, enjoying the experience. It may not be that something is 'wrong' but that is a temporary natural pattern that's being perceived as 'wrong'. If she is putting on weight, getting 6 wet nappies in 24hrs and not in pain and distressed while feeding, she has a pattern that's natural for her. I would suggest respecting her cues, offer the other side but then if she's not interested, more on to the next activity. Monitor weight gain but try to relax for the moment and focus less on the timings of feedings. As this article explains, it's a cultural issue that for many women throughout history isn't really an issue at all.

Emma Pickett

7/30/2014 12:46:15 am

I should also mention that hand sucking can't be relied on as a cue as babies get older. Some babies enjoy sucking hands at any time. I would stop offering if she's not interested in the breast and settling for a feed. See what cues she shows you 15 minutes or half an hour later and have a second course. It's not 'snacking', it's normal feeding. Many adults have a pause before dessert.

Anna

8/11/2014 11:40:32 pm

Thank you for one of the most encouraging articles I've ever read about Breastfeeding. .Im currently nursing my 7th child, who is 13 weeks now.. Although ive ebf all my children, its not been easy & Ive struggled with lots of issues mainly latching, thrush&mastitis within the first 3 months. I dread the pain, but my desire to bf keeps me going. I still struggle within myself even after now 7 babies that im not getting it right. Id love to be a confident breastfeeding mum like I see others are, but aam not. Most days bring a new challenge of some sssort. I can get quite down about this . because I want it to be relaxed and know it can affect the rest of my household during the first 6months of my babys life. Thank you for posting and being there for so many ladies.

Emma Pickett

8/12/2014 12:41:50 am

Thank you Anna. I really appreciate your comment. You are an important reminder that it's not only first time mums that need support. Best Wishes.

Catharine

8/18/2014 06:15:07 pm

I wish I had read this when I was grappling with frequent feeding. My son was slow to gain weight so I was told to wake him at night if he went more than two hours for a feeding. Then once he was gaining enough weight he seemed to have adopted that set pattern. He took a long time to nurse so I was getting about one hour of sleep at a time. After three months of that he started waking six or seven times a night. I would have done anything to get more sleep. When I asked about it at a breastfeeding support group I got basically your answer that you just keep feeding them whenever they want. Co-sleeping was out because every movement and noise woke me up so I would be getting even less sleep. I ended up sleep training and had a blissful week - he was perfectly happy with half the number of feedings in 24 hours, but as you outlined it destroyed my milk supply. I was even more miserable over the next few months as my supply dwindled until he refused to nurse and I was only getting a total of one ounce after pumping six times a day. I guess what I'm saying is that there needs to be something you can do to help out that mother that has small capacity (I could never double pump more than two ounces so I assume I was one of those) to give her a chance at some sanity. I was breaking down into tears while going for walks and when I couldn't fall asleep during a nap window. That was only three months. I really didn't feel like I could make it that way for six months. I guess what I am saying is that when a mother is at that point of exhaustion make sure she is informed, but give some suggestion that gives hope for two hours of continuous sleep once a night. Is pumping and having one bottle of expressed milk a possibility?

Emma Pickett

8/19/2014 01:08:55 am

Hi Catharine,
I'm so sorry you had a tough time. You are absolutely right that mums with small storage capacity need support and information. It starts with people being properly informed (the mum, her family, her health professionals). No one should be saying, 'stretch that young baby to 3-4 hours' as a response to that situation. Everyone needs to have a full understanding about how milk production works and maternal anatomy.

We'd start with maximising supply - making sure positioning and attachment is impeccable. Looking at using breast compressions. Using both breasts as standard and returning back to the first. Possibly looking at galactagogues.

Then we'd look at safe co-sleeping support. I appreciate that wasn't for you but it can help in many cases - just simply learning how to feed lying down after a conversation about creating a safe space. Some mums may not fall asleep but still find it more restful. What helps a lot of people is simply getting a bigger mattress. Forget the fancy designer cot - buy yourself a few more inches of mattress space.

Baby-wearing and learning to feed in a sling.

Then we'd look at daytime support - family members who visit and hold baby for 3 hours and let you nap and only disturb you for a feed and then take baby away to settle. Or a postnatal doula who can take pressure off in other ways.

And yes - expressing milk and giving a bottle (using paced bottlefeeding techniques) can be helpful. Mum might go to bed at 9pm (after one more express as we don't want these mums to leave breasts unused any longer than we have to) and partner does the 'last feed' and mum gets a first block of sleep.

A positive is that things are often easier second time around. The body was primed with first lactation and the theory is that prolactin receptors were formed first time which are added to the next time round.

Emma x

rebecca

2/17/2015 09:08:18 am

This is great to know, but a little concerning I always ignored health professionals telling me to feed more or less often, I went with my baby, he is now 3.5 months but I still feel bad because he now goes between 3 and 6 hours from start of feed to start of next, and 9-11 hours at night, does this mean my baby isn't getting what he needs or that there may be a problem long term breastfeeding?

Emma Pickett

2/17/2015 10:32:22 am

If your baby is putting on weight well according to the UNICEF charts, is hydrated, is meeting his milestones, is alert and interested - that's the stuff that matters. It might be that you are a mum with a large storage capacity and your intervals end up being longer than average. In warmer weather, I might be concerned about 6 hours between feeds but the key thing is that you respond to baby's cues and that they are otherwise healthy. We say, "Watch the baby, not the clock" and that applies in this situation too.

Lynsay

2/17/2015 07:26:44 pm

Wow, 7 months later and I find myself back on here after more sound advise following someone's post.
Our little one still refuses formula/ expressed in bottle/cup and wakes 1-3 times a night, we can cope with it if its what she needs. I however go back to work in 2 weeks , I am going to breastfeed her in my lunch hour but at the moment as I can feed her anywhere between half hourly to 3 hours that 1, it will be doing her harm and 2, my production will slow as I'll be storing for longer (4 hrs a.m 5 hrs p.m). She will 'play' with water in a cup or bottle, would this keep her going between solids and breast? In a 24 hour period in not too concerned, just the nursery hours.

Emma Pickett

2/18/2015 01:18:09 am

If she takes some water and a good range of solids (including watery fruit and vegetables) and still gets at least 3-4 feeds in 24 hours, her needs should be met. Best to keep an eye on her wet nappies and wet gain just to be sure but I don't think you have cause to worry. You may find she wakes a bit more at night. You may notice a dip in your supply and some engorgement but everybody responds differently to this scenario. Ideally you would do a little expressing during those longer blocks even if it's only 5 minutes of hand expression. I might be worried about you developing blocked ducts and mastitis if the change happens quite suddenly. It's great that you can feed her at lunchtime and I think she will be absolutely fine. As she gets older, she is likely to become more confident with a sippy cup, straw cup or an open cup like a Doidy cup.

Dee

10/13/2016 04:01:33 am

My baby girl is 7.5 months old and demand feeding every 2-3 hrs during the day and 1.5 - 2hrs every night. I'm aware how good it is to demand feed but the lack of sleep is taking its toll on me. I was told that once she starts solids it will get better, but she eats a good amount of solids 3 times a day for the last 2 months and it has made no change to her feeds. Everyone is telling me I'm not giving her enough, there must be something wrong and that I should stop breastfeeding and its getting harder and harder to listen to my baby and not them. Im soooo tired. Has anyone else had this experience with their first born?? I really want to continue feeding.

Cath Williams

6/21/2015 03:43:10 am

Great article Emma- may I forward it to some of the mums that I see who feel the need to schedule feeds and follow those/that book which dooms breastfeeding to the Failure Basket? Cath Williams IBCLC

Bridget Wu

6/21/2015 04:32:04 am

Thanks for this post. My 4 month old still breastfeeds every 2 hours during the day and 3 hours at night. He's a very healthy and happy little guy and has gained weight wonderfully. He currently weighs 18 lbs so I thought we were doing great. But at my last doctors visit, the pediatrician told me I should start spacing out his feelings. This led to a few weeks where I would let him fuss for a bit before feeding him. In the end it only made us both miserable and we weren't able to space his feedings any longer then 2 1/2 hours during the day. I'm back to feeding every two hours or whenever he seems hungry and we're both happier. Thanks again for this article. It's helpful to know that there is a wide range of "normal" when it comes to breastfeeding.

Emma Pickett

6/21/2015 05:57:43 am

Thank you very much, Bridget. I really appreciate your comment. The idea that babies 'should go longer' results in so many problems. Thankfully, you trusted your instincts.

Emma Pickett

6/21/2015 05:58:51 am

Thank you! Feel free to do whatever feels useful.

Cath Williams

6/22/2015 04:45:59 am

Thank you Emma- so many useful aspects in this!

Emma Pickett

6/21/2015 06:01:20 am

Babies wake themselves in the vast majority of cases. Night wakings are normal into toddlerhood and beyond. However not many babies at 7kg who are sleeping 'need' to be woken unless there is an underlying health problem.

Janie

6/21/2015 12:34:10 pm

There is something oddly worrying about today's American woman that I don't see in other countries (I'm not US born), but I see too many women doubting themselves and turning to social media and random unqualified Internet "doctors" to answer their questions, instead of using something that we are ALL born with and that's called motherly instinct. For me personally, a scheduled worked wonderfully, and I'm not ashamed of that. I didn't need any advice for my child, I didn't need to read books, or follow useless posts on social media. We need to stop these apocalyptic doomsday messages that if we feed our children formula, give them pizza, eat too much salt, leave them in the car for 5 minutes unattended in 60 degree weather, or follow schedule feeding that we will somehow harm our children. Women of America : grow a spine and stop reading social media. Follow your instincts and completely Ignore your friends or what the mommy next to you is doing.

Kimberley Penny

6/21/2015 03:04:49 pm

Thank you for this! I have been worrying that my 10 day old isn't getting enough milk at night as she will have a feed around midnight ish then either only have one during the night and/or have very small feeds (A few mins) during the night until I get up in the morning. Her weight gain has been amazing ( 7lb 1oz at birth, 7lb 10oz at 8 days old) and she feeds really well during the day. This has made me feel like she knows what she is doing so unless she starts losing weight I don't think I'll worry too much.

Rebecca

6/21/2015 03:44:50 pm

Whitish I'd seen this 18 months ago. My little one is 13 months and she is my first. I was always determined to breastfeed as I had taken child development at school and was aware of it's benefits. However that was over 16yrs ago so at the hospital I asked for help and advice on what to do. The nurse passed me my baby girl and luckily she latched with no problems and the nurse left. By the end of the day I was exhausted and felt like a complete failure because I couldn't settle my baby and she appeared to be constantly hungry. Despite having had a c section I requested to go home the following day and am so glad I did because my midwife came to do my home visit and gave me the best advice. She told me about the different types of milk and that rather than set times on feeding just offer the breast if baby takes it wait until the little one lets go then change baby to wake them and offer the second breast, if baby wants it they will take it. By the end of the first week my girl showed no signs of jaundice and had actually gained weight which I was told was unexpected in a breastfed baby.

Mari Chiodo

6/21/2015 05:37:20 pm

very good article. I know you breastfeed exclusively but do you have a recommendation for bottle feeding and times between feelings? We are adopting and I wasn't sure if you had a recommendation

Emma Pickett

6/22/2015 02:23:10 am

Hi Mari,

Are you considering inducing lactation? If so, you could be feeding the baby at the breast with an SNS or lact-aid. This will reproduce lots of the closeness and responsiveness of breastfeeding. It also means that as babies suck/ negative pressure is responsible for the delivery of the milk, they are perhaps less likely to overfeed and you can respond to their cues as you might with ordinary breastfeeding.

I think a lot will depend on the age of the baby and their previous experience. Some adoptive babies have been used to fast feeds from a bottle and may struggle to adapt to new techniques. If bottlefeeding entirely, ideally we'd used paced bottlefeeding methods (have a look on YouTube) with opportunities for skin-to-skin. If giving formula, we'd look at the recommendations according to the manufacturer for age/weight but try not to necessarily aim for the longest intervals. More frequent feeds of smaller quantities mean opportunities for closeness. But in 24 hours you'd be aiming for the expected intake for that age/ weight.

Sereena link

6/21/2015 06:12:09 pm

wow awesome post you have written. I am so glad you have written this article and I will definitely be sharing so that more beautiful mummas know that they just have to trust and believe in themselves and their baby and just go with their own little routine..this is exactly how I have raised all 4 of iur children and they have all breastfed for different amounts of times each as they are all different. Thanks again for sharing and many Blessings to you 💜

Joanne

6/22/2015 01:50:35 am

Thank you so much. I'm feeding a three month old. I get phases of being full of self doubt and a hair's breadth from reaching for the tin of formula. But I feel very inspired and reassured by your article. Now I'm thinking I'll just try to enjoy the next three months and see what happens then :)

Kath

6/22/2015 02:31:12 am

I demand fed all three of my children, now 20, 15 and 11. And while they were all different, I was very lucky to have a very supportive midwife, even when my middle child had severe reflux. Made it a pain to feed her sometimes, but it gave me time with her and the others that was just our time. I was lucky that I also came from a large family and my nieces and nephews are closer in age to me than my oldest sibling. this has meant that when I had my own children, I didn't automatically 'follow the party line'. I always kept an eye on their weight gain and nappy output, but as long as they were happy, then nothing anyone else said really mattered.

I understand that with the plethora of information available new mothers can get easily confused, but the best advice I ever received from my sister was, trust yourself, this is your baby and you know them better than any medical professional!!

Jessica

6/22/2015 03:23:08 am

I wish I had read this article a few years ago when having my sons. They were both (and still are) extremely big boys and in hindsight observing their eating and drinking habits now they were probably both just hungry snackers. I listened to all the 3 hourly advice and eventually got so despondent about my supply or supposed lack thereof that I started them on formula at 3 months on the advice of a number of health professionals. I have 2 happy and healthy boys but would dearly have loved to settle in and just breastfeed them as and when they wanted instead of enforcing a schedule on them which failed miserably. I will be sharing this article with as many new mum friends as I possibly can to hopefully assist them in losing some of the self doubt !

Beth

6/22/2015 04:30:29 am

this made me cry. Thank you :)

Brandy

6/22/2015 04:33:31 am

or your child has a rare metabolic disorder that requires set schedules of breastfeeding and no fasting. I certainly can't afford to "watch" my baby. This doesn't make me less of a mother either.

Celia

6/22/2015 04:54:37 am

Wonderful article, thank you. I was lucky enough to have amazing breast feeding support from day one; this is not the case for most new mums sadly. I have demand fed my three boys but I did fiddle around with a pump and bags of breast milk in the fridge with my first. It wasn't until I had my third that I absolutely let go of all worries about supply and timings and went 100% with the flow (literally!). As a result, my body and baby have been perfectly in synch every step of the way. Not rocket science at all, simple.

Jennie

6/22/2015 04:59:07 am

Is this demand feeding?

Emma Pickett

6/23/2015 07:47:09 am

I think we'd just call it 'breastfeeding' :) It could be called responsive feeding or feeding to baby's cues. We tend not to use the term 'demand feeding' as it has a slightly negative overtone.

Margo

6/22/2015 06:44:38 am

Saw this on Facebook. Very good article! My first child was premature and weighed only 2 lbs 9 ozs ( 1.16 kg) at birth. After five weeks in hospital, I was able to take him home. There they had 4 hour feeds and he was not gaining weight. One of the nurses whispered to me that I should feed him on demand when we got home. That meant nursing every 2.5 hours, around the clock, for 9 months! Even with solids he needed this and he did not sleep through the night til then. Each feeding lasted at least 40 minutes. But he was healthy and growing and it was necessary! With my second child, a calm, full-term 8-lbs girl, I fed on demand as well. She nursed every 3-4 hours for ten minutes and slept through the night by 2.5 - 3 months. At six months of age my son weighed 10 lbs and my daughter weighed 16 lbs yet, at a year, he weighed 18 lbs 5 oz and she weighed 18 lbs 3 oz. Same result, just a different pattern because they are different and their needs were different. Scheduled feedings would not have worked for either of them or for me! As for sleeping through the night ( or 6-7 hours), a wise grandmother told me that it would not happen til they weighed 13 lbs, and in both cases she was spot on! Thanks for the article!

Naomi

6/22/2015 06:46:00 am

Both my babies slept through the night happily at under 3mo because of set feeding intervals. You have to do it right and follow their cues and not force them into a routine that doesnt agree with them. For instance, cluster feeding before 9pm bedtime is part of our routine. First I watch them and record what I find. Soon I see a pattern emerging. I use this pattern and set it in place with set feeding times. When my baby seems hungry I feed him regardless of the routine, but then I would also feed him on the routine time. They settle into it fast. Later my breasts have a gigantic letdown just before every set feed, as they seem to know its feeding time as well. Having no routine is a bad thing especially if you're a working mom. Babies are adaptable but you should never force them into a routine.

Christi

6/22/2015 07:18:33 am

Thanks for this article! It answered a lot if questions thst I have been having myself. I felt like I was over feeding my 10 week old date his 2 month visit to pediatrician. Sometimes he likes to eat every hour, other times every two hours and can do a four to eight hour stretch at night depending on the night. My question is my son was in 91st percentile for weight but 72nd for height. I know you are saying we can't over feed but what if he is gaining a lot more weight than height? I have stopped doing the hourly feedings ( usually 2-3 a day) since he saw pediatrician because she said every hour wasn't good.

Jill link

6/22/2015 08:49:58 am

I fed by advice the first time of a lactation group, the ladies pressured me into the waiting game with my son to stretch him out 2 hours min, it was a nightmare. Struggled and let it go at 3 months in. Second child I was selfish, I wanted my body back and breastfeeding took too much time. I beat myself up mentally giving up on him at 6 weeks, he was aggressive and very demanding. We waited almost 16 years for our daughter, early in the pregnancy I announced I was going to nurse her come heck or high water lol I pre planned bought the pump, read articles and researched some good methods. She came a couple weeks early at a mere 4 lbs 13 oz. From the moment she was born I placed her on my chest and encouraged the first feed, she gladly latched like a pro! she didn't hurt me and no one said anything to me I just let her on demand feed. The hospital nurses were blown away at how good she ate and we left the hospital at 4lbs 3 oz. over the course of the next month I stayed home most of the time and all we did was breast feed, whenever she wanted at our pace without any discrimination or 'advice" She gained and gained and gained at 5 months old she is 15 lbs and 27 inches long!!! I highly recommend letting the baby set the pace, sometimes the cluster feeds would get long and I would feel like she wasn't getting enough but I kept telling myself my goal is 6-8 wet diapers and poops she did more like 8-10 instead lol. She has been a dream to breast feed. She is 5 months old now, I introduced cereal 2 times a day 1 tsp in the morning and 1 in the pm, increasing gradually making it with her breast milk I expressed. She's now up to 2 tablespoons in the morning 2 at night and holding her weight and she is so active! She scoots around on the floor rolling and playing with toys, jumps in her jumper plays with her excersaucer and is happy. She now goes 3 hours in between leaving me feeling full of milk so I pump, then make breastmilk freezer pops for her or add to her cereal I plan to use it in her food as I will make her baby food at home for extra vitamins. Some days she wants more some days less, I never stop her I respond to her cues no matter what or where we are and she doesn't take long anyways lol. She gets a good feeding done in 10-15 minutes other times she wets her mouth or throat by latching sucking letting go and repeating for 5 minutes then wants me to put her down to play lol... She has a sleep routine, she built that out too. after her breakfast and playtime she has a nap about 2 hours after waking sleeps for 1 hour then is up till afternoon around 3pm she sleeps for 2 hours guaranteed allowing me to cook supper and clean up from the day then she naps with dad at around 6 for 1 hour. Her bedtime is 10pm and she sleeps till 2am, this feeding I am sure is just to check what im doing lol she latches for 5 minutes cuddles then goes back to sleep If I let her fuss a bit she goes back to sleep till morning but I don't let her fuss at all so she can check on me whenever she wants... She wakes up between 8-9 am daily. Her nurse practitioner and Doctor are very happy with her health. I have received compliments and pats on the back for her development. She's my boss and I love working with her ;)

Emma Pickett

6/23/2015 07:48:14 am

I love that line 'She's my boss and I love working with her :)'

layla

6/22/2015 02:48:13 pm

Wish I'd read this three years ago. Although my little boy fed for 18 hours one day and not one midwife gave me the same answer. We had to find a lactation consultant privately to get some sensible answers and real help.

Karen

6/22/2015 03:14:47 pm

Feed them when they are hungry, change them when they're dirty. Nap. Go with the flow.

Tina

6/22/2015 03:23:26 pm

If you are hungry you eat, snack drink no one tells you you have to be on a schedule to do any of those. So why do we "schedule" our children. They are growing, and when they are hungry, FEED THEM...if they have a wet diaper...CHANGE them. their only voice is their cries. When they are happy you will know it. SO QUIT the schedules for newborns to toddlers. And what the heck...if it's cold outside, why do you have a jacket on and your baby has NO booties/shoes on and just a blanket around them. If you are cold...don't you think they are even colder than you....

Francoise

6/22/2015 03:30:15 pm

So, the new generation has it all figured out and my generation treated babies like crap! What an arrogance. I breastfed my three kids at regular hours and never let them cry out of hunger. I would weight them before and after to make sure they had what they needed to be fully satisfied, stimulating them gently if they were falling asleep. I cuddled - yes, my generation loved to do that too, what a surprise - sang songs, kissed, loved my kids as much as these know-it-all moms do. My babies were happy and loved. So cut us some slack, will you? I see newborns in malls, exposed to all kind of stuff I would not have exposed mine. Modern motherhood... And then I see kids swallowing junk food or receiving a birthday cake with so many colorants... "Happy birthday sweetie, I breastfed you whenever you wanted and now here are your carcinogenic agents because I love you so much. And if you go off the wall with hyperactivity it doesn't matter. The world will accept your behavior just fine." yes, cut us some slacks. You are no better than us.

Emma Pickett

6/23/2015 07:50:59 am

If you never let your babies cry out of hunger and they were fully satisfied then you were responsive feeding! This is exactly what this article is talking about so thank you for making that point. The problem is there are babies that AREN'T happy and ARE crying out of hunger because their parents are looking at the clock when it DOESN'T work for baby or mum. It clearly did work for you. I wish you some peace.

Wendy

6/22/2015 04:54:43 pm

As a lactation support to many moms, let me educate you a bit more on the theory behind stretching out the feedings. I work with moms who want to give up breastfeeding, and who struggle with severe postpartum and sleep deprivation. To make sure these moms continue nursing, we assist them in taking away the pressure to nurse every time their babies cry. Some babies need to be held, rocked, are tired, want a binky, or need another kind of attention that dad can provide, not just to eat. This is such a relief for some moms who are a danger to themselves and their families because of exhaustion and depression. If they weigh baby before and after a feeding, they can rest at ease that intake is fine, and watch baby cues to see that they truly usually take in greater feedings if there is more time between feedings. This also results in longer sleeping stretches at night when babies have fuller tummies. By your article this obviously seems ludicrous to you, but it is life-saving to desperate moms who want so much to nurse, but are ready to give it up to get some rest. I'm so glad you and many others are able to nurse more frequently, but please do not forget these miserable moms trying to do everything they can to breastfeed. Many cannot sleep with a baby in their beds as much as they try due to anxiety, fear or a bad experience smothering a baby, covering them with bedding, or knocking them off a bed. How about we support these poor moms by letting them space out feeding if they feel it is best for them and their families by extending them a lack of judgment and to celebrate their every attempt to breastfeed even if it looks different from how you do it? I know a few months seems short term to you, but not when you want to harm yourself or your baby because of sleep deprivation. I also agree with the pediatrician who commented here that some moms (immature, mental issues) are truly unable to read hunger cues and need to have a schedule to make sure that baby is fed often enough.

Emma Pickett

6/23/2015 08:08:15 am

As I state at the beginning, this is an article for when 'breastfeeding is going well'. Mum is 'relaxed' at home. I use the phrase 'perfectly happy' to describe how mum is feeling about the current routine. Clearly as practitioners, we will tailor our care according to different situations and according to the needs and wishes of mums we work with. For example, mums who have knocked babies out of bed or covered them with bedding would certainly benefit from some knowledge and guidance on bed-sharing practices if that is what they would wish to do. I have worked with several clients who found that the trigger for PND/ PPD was being told they were 'breastfeeding wrong' and their baby couldn't stretch between feeds. These mums valued immensely understanding the biology of breastfeeding and understanding how to feed comfortably and safely at night so I think it's important to acknowledge that, as ever with breastfeeding, it's not ONE SIZE fits all. It's especially true to never assume who has and hasn't struggled with PND and that all mums with depression and sleep deprivation will benefit from the same responses.

Karl

6/23/2018 07:15:25 am

So what are the good practices for night feeding? My other half is feeling pretty terrorised at night because he wants to feed every hour or more. She’s definitely in need of more sleep. If you can point me in the right direction that would be great.

Audey

6/22/2015 06:57:34 pm

Well said exclusivley breast fed both my boys. I could never pump more than a few ounces and they ate every 2-3 hours for the first 6 months until they sarted eating food. They both doubles there birth weight by 6 months without a problem big fat babies

Tracy McCullough

6/22/2015 07:14:13 pm

'Wherever, whenever, whatever the place, time or reason.' It worked for us.

Frank L. Rike

6/22/2015 10:37:57 pm

I am grateful my wife could be a stay at home Mother for our children. Our son, our first child, at pretty much continually, often for 90 minutes then rested for 30 minutes. Our second, our oldest daughter, would eat for a few minutes and fall asleep, then would wake up and nibble some more. Our youngest daughter would suckle hard for 30 minutes then not want more for an hour or longer. Today, we see similar patterns in how they eat. The child's personality makes a difference in how they eat. The mother's production and storage make a difference. It is a relationship between the child and mother. It needs to be treated as such. There are no set rules and intervals. There are patterns, but they can be intensely personal.

Steph

6/23/2015 02:04:23 am

Best article I have ever read! I have done exactly the same and always felt right about it. Every now and then I get someone who disapproves and tells me how he needs to be in a routine. I have learnt to ignore these people and just follow my instincts :)

Casey

6/23/2015 05:04:39 am

This article is the best well written article I have read about breastfeeding! With my first baby I was a total clock watcher!!! I am now in the second trimester of my second pregnancy and your article has totally re-wired my thought pattern on breastfeeding! At the end of the day, its all about the baby, and I want my body to supply my baby with the food as and when it needs and as you say, it is for such a short period of time. Thank you for your insights,

Justine

6/23/2015 06:11:56 am

Thank you for a really great article! My twins are now 12 so we are way past breastfeeding but I wish I had read this when we were! Its a shame that so many people obviously haven't read the article fully before making negative comments or choose to interperite it as a personnel attack on the feeding choices they made 😔

Rachel

6/23/2015 06:28:33 am

The health visitors often asked me how often my daughter fed and I never knew because I didn't count. I fed her whenever she needed feeding and she went from an average birth weight to the 99.6th percentile within months and while feeding on just one boob.

Shellie

6/23/2015 06:50:53 am

Where can I find the safe Co sleeping information?

Emma Pickett

6/23/2015 07:53:00 am

Have a look at ISIS online. Lots of research-based information. Hard to beat.

https://www.isisonline.org.uk/where_babies_sleep/

Rachel

6/23/2015 08:59:04 am

Brilliant article. Breastfeeding is one of the most special and rewarding things to experience in life...I'm still breastfeeding my son at 15 months old.

Julia

6/23/2015 11:03:53 am

I wish I had found this article sooner, I would have never supplemented formula in fear that my baby wasn't getting what she needed. Thank you!

FLH

6/23/2015 01:29:52 pm

Where was this advice when I was breastfeeding? My son was on me every 20 minutes. No exaggeration. The longest he ever went was an hour without a feed, other than that, every 20 minutes. He was a difficult latch, extremely strong, and aggressive. He would push away from me and I literally had to have him in a death grip to keep him from tearing my nipple off. I couldn't feed him laying down, it wasn't comfortable at all. Wearing him was not happening, he hated it and he was too heavy. I pumped and bottle fed to leave the house because there was no chance of feeding him discreetly, trying to get him latched was like wrestling an alligator. The alligator may have been easier actually.

His first three weeks of life, I fell down the stairs twice, while holding him, due to sleep deprivation.

My pediatrician was all over me that he was losing too much weight. I went to the lactation consultant nearly daily to learn he was getting 5 ounces out of me at every feed, but at 10lbs, 3 oz at birth, it didn't seem to be enough, he just wanted more, and more.

I tried fenugreek, mother's tea, massage. I pumped between feedings, I never came close to being able to store any. I went on mom message boards where I was torn to shreds because I was miserable and exhausted. I received 100 different pieces of advice, and none of them worked. I read book after book, magazine article after magazine article. I had even taken a class on breastfeeding prior to his birth.

All I did was sit on the couch, or in a chair, with him attached to me. Yet he continued to lose weight. I had a nervous breakdown at the pediatrician's office when she pretty much accused me of not feeding him when he "needed to eat" I burst into tears and left the room. My husband was livid and explained I was killing myself trying to make breastfeeding work. I wasn't sleeping, I was mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted.

I had another nervous breakdown at the lactation consultant's office before I just decided enough was enough and I started supplementing him with formula. He gained weight, I was able to get some sleep and it wasn't until that moment that I began to enjoy being a mom. Prior to that, I was MISERABLE. I was missing the most precious time with my newborn feeling like a failure over my inability to simply feed this child.

It bothers me when breastfeeding is touted as natural, and easy, and it's anything but, it's a ton of work and with a baby like mine was, it's a sentence to sitting on a couch for hours on end without a break, bored, sweating, and smelling like sour milk. I never tried so hard to make something that was supposed to happen naturally, work.

Perhaps if I wasn't surrounded by alleged "experts" telling me what I'm doing is wrong and just had gone by my son's cues, it would have been just fine. I feel all the medical advice, books and sites and information I went to to "empower" myself only contributed to me feeling like a complete, and utter failure, and resenting my newborn for it.

I will say thank goodness for formula though because I think I would have gone insane had I no option but to continue on the way that I was.

My son (now nearly four) is still a bottomless pit. I'm glad I was able to give him some breast milk until he started solids at 5 months and completely lost interest in me, refused to latch and I dried up immediately. But I will admit, that was one of the happiest days of my life knowing I would never have to do that again. My experience breastfeeding is one of the many factors into why I'm one and done.

alexandra

6/23/2015 03:18:24 pm

Thanks for making me feel normal
I tried feeding routine but not for long. I'm a strong minded woman and tea up, got advice but knew it was gonna be what worked for me and my little boy. He is nearly 6 months and we are cracking on trying foods both spoon and baby led. As for bread feeding I'm doing it every 2 hours waiting max 3 hours. He sleeps from 9-7 with 2 wake ups max. He has as much as he wants and is always ready for it. I also work 18 hours a week (mostly evenings) so express a bottle every day for that evening. All I care about it a good few hours sleep at night, everything else changes depending on everything around us. I don't stress , but I think that's my age and personality. It must be hard for unsure mums without a strong support system around them. Thanks for writing this and giving moms an encouraging pat on the back rather than the usual rules and expert advice!

Dana

6/23/2015 06:36:28 pm

I love this article. I've breastfed all 3 of my children and am currently due with my 4th. I'd like to offer that I think the reason most moms focus on intervals is because of the stress of going back to work so soon. You have to leave your baby with someone else who needs to know how to care for him/her. With such short time off for maternity leave, it is hard to get to know your child well enough to tell someone else what to expect. Since feeding is so important, so think pressure of knowing what to say to your caregiver emphasizes the idea of timing feedings.

Natalie Wilcox

6/23/2015 07:49:35 pm

My 12 month old is still nursing every 2-3 hours at night. I'm currently trying to wean before I leave the country in 4 weeks so I've cut down his nursing to 3-4 times during the day (breakfast, lunch, after work snack & bedtime). He's always nursed thru the night. Any advice? Also looking for weaning advice. He quit the pacifier at 5 months and quit taking a bottle of pumped milk at 9 months.

Diana ONeill

6/23/2015 11:27:07 pm

Wow. There's so much experience b r in shared; you should put it verbatim in a book.
I nursed my first per cues. She slept and was happy. I had no fear of doing it wrong. I read that in the first few months a breastfed baby's bm's range from after every feeding to 10 days NO TYPO. I had been a little concerned as she would go 5 days and have nml bm. She also had "popcorn pants" very gassy but not troubled. Saw a lactation consultant
who advised holding her so that she had a straight spine - not turning her head to the nipple, as that could cause air swallowing. She also educated me about the watery foremilk and the fatty milk at the end giving satiety. She suggested I give her just one breastfeeding a feeding to "get to the good stuff" and this worked for us.
I would suggest giving a bottle a few times a week so you can get away for a few hours. My daughter never used a pacifier or bottle. At 6 Mos I handed her a straw cup (after her getting sips of juice from a regular straw in past). YES
My son weighed almost 9 lb and I thought he'd make my nipples sore he sucked so hard. Then boom the milk came in and he wasn't hungry. I yelled at him you ordered this milk now drink it :)
thank God for electric pumps.
I used straight lanolin for sore/chapped nipples. Was sometimes difficult to find.
He did use pacifier (way too long-winded sick on his shirt in pre-k) He'd fall asleep with one in his mouth and in each hand. Whatever. Binky Boy has perfect teeth. Both have neverr had a cavity. Age 20,18.
I tried a "nursing bra" 1x. How absurd!
I used nice fairly tight exercise bras, with cotton pads tucked in if needed.
(Never used an underwrire again) all I had to do was lift my shirt and bra and hold baby along/under....while walking around the hardware store.

NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING BABY

to feed them or otherwise. They'll be fine.
Your breasts are intelligent in & of themselves.
ex. If you only nurse on the weekends, your breasts will respond and only make milk then. Pretty cool, huh? Enjoy.

Oh. One very sad story: a new mom was told only to nurse every 4 hrs despite her infants constant crying. Then, when she wasn't gaining weight she gave formula every 4. Still crying, not gaining wt...they realized they had mixed the formula too thin.
The mom was my mom. That infant was me. I never knew the story until nursing my first. I was heartbroken for the infant who was me.

Kelesi Woodhouse

6/23/2015 11:27:49 pm

Thank you for sharing your article. My breastfeeding days are long gone and my children grown and gone, but I still remember it as one of the most wonderful processes of my life.

I am also very aware of how the so-called civilized world regards human function as mechanical, as if our nature is something which can be categorized and scientifically assessed. I believe this issue is what has brought great confusion to citizens of the modern world. It is riddled with denial and a desire for control. The concept of control is anathema - and as a new parent, likewise it is anathema. The real need is for connection, empathy, intuition and above all, Love. There is no science to this. It is sacred and comes from the heart. So in essence these modern directives are basically heartless!

Both my beloved babies weaned themselves, my first at just over 12 months and my second at about 9 months. We needed no words or "book learning". We just knew. I loved every moment of it all and feel blessed that I became a mother. It is has taken everything I had and much more and opened my heart far more than I had imagined possible.

Many thanks again for your wisdom.

Kanyini,

Kelesi

Caroline

6/23/2015 11:34:28 pm

Thank you for the informative article and the positive words! Mums should always and only listen to the ancient power of female and mothers intuition.
So did I when my midwife told me to increase feeding to a minimum of 7 in 24 hours as my daughter wanted only 5 times. We tried for 2 awful days and horrible nights and then I stopped. I felt it was the right thing we did before. So what I want to say is, it's not necessary to stretch feeding intervals, but it's not necessary as well to go up to your mentioned minimum of 8 times in 24 hours. ;-)
Best regards Caroline

Kay

6/24/2015 03:08:09 am

I co slept and breastfed on demand with all six of my children. It was the most natural thing to do.

Bec

6/24/2015 09:33:14 am

After my first born was demand fed as per the instructions of the hospital staff I found myself exhausted and a child who was unsettled and sleeping for 20min intervals and never satisfied. I will forever be grateful for the day my friend gave me the book. 'On becoming babywise' it taught me what doctors and health nurses didn't. I read the book cover to cover and immediately started scheduling my sons feeds. Within 6wks he was sleeping through the night for the first time in four months, he was happy between feeds and easy to settle afterwards. Finally I was getting sleep and I was enjoying being a new mum. I was able to leave the house with a rough idea when his next fees would be and was even able to go child free for a hair appointment. I fully breastfed for 12mths and know j wouldn't have lasted that long if I had continues with the demand feeding advice being shoved down my throat by every new mum in the 90's and health nurses. Three children followed and I schedule fed them starting at a flexible 60-90mins between feeds until they were able to stretch out to 3 1/2 to 4hrly. I was the happiest and most envied mum when I fourth child slept through from 7wks (10pm roll over feed until 5am wake up feed)
Do what works for you but don't think for a second scheduled feeding doesn't work and shouldn't be done. My mum didn't want to interfere so watched me do things the 'demand fed' way but was thrilled when I learnt about schedule feeding and had success just like she had, I just wished she had told me sooner.

Jessica Whitmore

6/24/2015 11:39:55 am

I cannot tell you how awesome it is to read this. With my first baby I was obsessed with doing it 'right' fears of spoiling my child and wrecking her was an never ending this for me. Family and books all had their right way.
I wasted all that time reading and looking for the right way instead of following my way. My instincts which were screaming at me all the time.
I was even pressured to sit in another room while my first baby wailed for me... She was a frequent feeder just like my second now.
This time I made a promise to our second child that I would listen to my body and to her.
I cannot tell you how happy this time around has been. We Co sleep safely... I baby wear and feed on demand.
Like you said the time will pass before you know it and we will be onto bigger and greater things. :)

Shereen Nimmo

6/24/2015 12:51:12 pm

Fabulous article - this could have been our breastfeeding story over the past 6 months. My son never went more than 2 hourly during the day and 2-3 hourly at night; feeding for about 40 minutes at a time for the first 4 months when he started getting more efficient. . Funny thing is he's started weaning and his feeds are getting shorted and stretching out and although it's great to see him experimenting with BLW I'm also a little sad it's not just me who's nourishing my son. I'm a midwife but what I've learned through my own breastfeeding journey could have never been taught to me. I was lucky to have had good support from my colleagues, health visiting team and family and exclusively breastfed for 6 months but I wish I'd read your article when I was up again after an hours sleep wondering if it was "normal" - IT WAS!

hannah

6/24/2015 01:25:55 pm

Brilliant article! However I would also like to add how babies also differ in their demands. I BF both my babies....1st had 20 min to 2hrs between feeds.....2nd went min 4hrs and often 6hrs between feeds. Both gained weight at a similar rate. So the individual baby and it's natural pattern varies too.

Candy

6/24/2015 01:59:05 pm

Just go with the flow. When the baby fusses just put them on the boob. If they aren't hungry they'll pull away. Babies aren't born to feed on a routined schedule, some nurse often, some don't. From my experience with my son, he was always nursing! It seemed like he was always attached. Why does that have to be a bad thing though. I loved the closeness and the fact that I was the only one who could feed my son.

6/24/2015 06:16:18 pm

Thank you!! My 10 week old son wakes frequently during the day and feeds every 2 hourly...I've wondered what I'm doing wrong and how I can stretch the feeds out longer. This article has really helped me - I'll stop counting the hours for the next few days and see if my bub and I can relax a bit more.

Nathalie

6/24/2015 08:49:54 pm

What about my one year old who eats solids and nurses only a few times a day but also every half hour or hour between the hours of 4 am until he wakes around 7 or 8? ? What is that all about?

Anonymous

6/24/2015 11:07:51 pm

Breastfeeding is so unique to each baby and I do agree from my experience with bf twins that watching a clock can be unhelpful. However, as baby grows some parents feel the need to establish structure and routine so that's where having some 'boundaries' around feeding can be helpful. My son would have fed constantly if I had let him, but as a mum of twins it was something which would not have worked for me nor my babies. I believe that there is a balance between what a mother needs and baby's needs, and sometimes feeding (suckling rather than consuming milk) can be primarily for comfort and if baby can be comforted in other ways (e.g. rocking and cuddling by dad or grandma) it's a chance for the little one to learn other ways to self-regulate and give mum a break. It's also important to note that excessive feeding and fussiness can be a sign that your baby's feeding is not meeting their needs (e.g. if baby is not latching properly feeding can be inefficient).

Amanda link

6/25/2015 03:20:23 pm

Wonderful article. Thank you

Diana

6/25/2015 07:19:39 pm

And that said book also writes that you should only feed from one breast at every feeding as soon as possible, as if you could train your body to 'store' more milk. That created so many problems for me with my first one... and the time interval. Without knowing (perhaps) that author has caused a lot of harm to breastfeeding mothers.
Great article!

Sofia Harris

6/26/2015 05:16:38 am

Thank you! Super article. Well articulated and reassuring. Will post on my baby massage page. :-)

Cien

6/26/2015 12:05:24 pm

I did use the 'magic number' of no less than 3 hours between nursing for all 4 of my baby's! They all 4 slept through the night at 6 weeks old! I loved every minute of it! Enjoyed every night! Everyone has to listen to their own mother's heart! If you don't mind nursing your baby all day and all night... go for it! But don't complain about the lack of sleep!

Martha

6/26/2015 07:20:58 pm

I breastfed (exclusively until 12 months) all 6 of my babies on a flexible routine and never co-slept. It was the most natural thing to do.

Karey

6/27/2015 10:04:36 pm

Excellent article! Makes me a little sad that I'm on day 2 of no more boob for my 3 yr old.

Shannon

6/27/2015 10:59:32 pm

I have twins I started out just breastfeeding, they were in nice and in different hospitals, I was keeping with both but stated to wear thin and both was supplement with formula, when they both cam I tried to breastfeed them both, it a daily stuggle, I try to feed both at same time but they don't seem full, I think because they get upset a few min after they larch off and the breast feels soft so I believe they are empty. Also I feed one then try to feed the other with no time in between and the baby doesn't seem to be getting anything, latches then unlatches very upset. Any advice please

Rachael ONeill

6/28/2015 01:43:06 am

Thank you for this article. I got really choked reading it.. I could relate to it in so many ways

Mary Anne Taus

6/28/2015 10:55:59 am

I breastfed both my babies, each for a year. I never kept any schedule. both my kids are very healthy 20 somethings. I also never let them "cry it out." they both also slept with me and my husband.

Brenda

6/28/2015 08:46:27 pm

I have breastfed 2 children to 13 months of age. I am currently breastfeeding my third (and last) baby who is a month old. I cannot tell how many times doctors and nurses have told me to breastfeed every 2 hours. Even as a new mom, that advice did not seem right to me. I breastfeed on demand and always have. My one month old was born at 8 pounds, 12 ounces, lost a pound overall following birth and is now weighing in at about 10 pounds, 8 ounces.That is all from following her cues. If she so much as whimpers, the first thing I do is offer the breast even if it means she just finished eating 5 minutes before. If she refuses, then I work on figuring out what her other discomforts might be. New moms need to know that is a wide range of normal for breastfeeding babies and the babies' cues.

Jenna Blake

7/2/2015 11:27:33 pm

I appreciate the article and the coverage. In the future, can you please work with an editor to avoid grammar errors that distract from the reading? 'Some how' and 'some where' versus somehow and somewhere are just a couple of examples.

Melissa Carter

7/4/2015 12:48:20 am

Such a wonderful article! I just got home from the hospital with my third son. He is my third to breast feed. The nurses in the hospital (that had clearly never breast fed themselves) were so insistent that I HAD to feed baby for 10 minutes on each breast every 2 hours. Baby only gets hungry every 3 1/2 hours. Every try to wake up an infant and convince him to eat when he is simply not hungry? So glad to be home where he can eat when he gets hungry and not when they say. Thanks for the great read! Very reassuring that I am doing the right thing.

Kalin link

7/4/2015 09:52:29 am

When my eldest son ate vivatiously all day then slept 6 hours at night for the first month until the doctor said to wake him at night, we went from peaceful to pressured & sleepless. That continued untill he started solids, ugh. This was a big mistake & made so much milk
I constantly leakes & was sore. With my next 5 babies I learned to follow their cues and fed on demand, not on a clock resulting in proper milk flow & natural sleep patterns. I learned that a baby knows when they are hungry and my body will develope a rhythm uniquely appropriate for each child. I love nursing, we call my milk "the Magic Elixer of Life".
*What a beautiful gift to share as a growing family <3

Kay McKee (IBCLC since 1996)

7/5/2015 12:25:47 pm

Hate to say it, that interval thing is coming from the pediatricians. From day one. "feeds to be every 2-3 hours" mothers to try to feed "closer to every two hours to MAKE THE MILK COME IN FASTER" (which requires progesterone fall after placenta goes, which varies by body mass and a hundred other things). I can't believe how little progress the AAP has made in 25 years in educating their own. But then NOT ONE SESSION IN THEIR CURRENT CONVENTION IS ABOUT BREASTFEEDING. NOT ONE. So sad.

Lisa

7/6/2015 02:16:43 am

I actually think the 8-12 times/day recommendation is part of the problem. People take it as a goal, rather than the absolute, barest minimum that it truly is. Babies who are truly allowed to cue feed frequently nurse far, far more often. They will often nurse for a few minutes multiple times an hour.

I once did an experiment with my totally cue fed then 5 month old. He actually nursed 25 times in a 24 hour period. Now, that's at 5 months. When he was younger, it might have been fewer times, for longer periods. Or it might have been even more often. I have no idea.

The thing that shocked me about my little experiment, is the more I paid attention to how often/how long, the more I worried about it and wondered if I was doing something wrong. It took me a few days after I stopped tracking to go back to not caring and just feeding my baby.

Amanda

11/24/2015 04:51:27 pm

I did that once too! I only counted for about 6 hours, though, lol. It was so discouraging. My son 4 month old nursed 10 times from 6 am to noon. And he did that most days!

But I must have been doing something right to let him nurse whenever he wanted. He averaged 3 ounces weight gain per DAY for months.

Katie B.

7/9/2015 11:52:38 am

I was really concerned about ensuring my daughter was eating enough - I had NO IDEA what I was doing! So we did the schedule thing, but always fed her sooner than her "scheduled" time if she was hungry! But we eventually fell into a pattern unique to HER - and I think that's really the key. I appreciated the "guidelines" because they helped give me somewhere to start, but I finally figured out after a few months - they are JUST GUIDELINES! Not the rules! My daughter at 4-6 months would take maybe 4 of 6 ounces, then after 20-30 minutes, she'd finish the remaining 2 ounces. That was how she ate best! If I had been nursing (unfortunately I had stopped by then), she would have nursed way more than 8-12 times a day! I'm expecting my second now and have such a different attitude towards feeding. If your child is growing, peeing, and pooping - you're doing it right! :)

HeatherHH

7/12/2015 07:00:55 am

Thanks for this wonderful article. I am a mom of 8 children and have breastfed them for a combined total of over 10 years. I started out with the first couple as a loose scheduler, but have demand fed the rest. But I learned new things in this article, such as the big difference in storage capacity from one mother to another. I'm bookmarking this to refer to anytime I see a forum post with a mom worrying about how often her baby is nursing.

Matthew Peterson

7/12/2015 12:41:05 pm

my wife told me to read this article, and i'm glad i did. our one month old baby feeds relatively frequently, seems like every 2 hours, sometimes 90 minutes, (although sometimes every 3 or 4 hours), but some people seem to say that it's just an issue of the baby having will power to be able to wait until, as the article says, some magical time period has passed. thank you for explaining some of the science of the breast. and really, what else would keep supply up but some consistent sucking from the little one?

Ady

7/13/2015 05:32:09 am

Really nice article Emma... My LO is 6 weeks old now, my paeds has advised me to feed on demand but not stretching feeds more than 3 hourly... During the day feeding is ok ranging from 2.5 hr to 3hrly intervals, the prob with my LO is that she never wakes up at night for feeds, iv been waking her up each 3 hrs to feed but with much difficulty she is so difficult to wake up and when she does she will feed barely fr 10 min and fall back asleep...lately iv stretched it to 4hrs, but still i hv queries if it would be ok to let her sleep a bit longer before waking her up for her night feeds? I do not want to experiment by myself in case her blood sugar level falls or something like that, she was born LBW 2.3 kgs, but putting on weight quite nicely and wetting her diapers well...

Emma Pickett

7/13/2015 06:31:44 am

In the UK, if a baby is putting on weight well at this age, we'd say a 5 hr interval at night is fine. Perhaps ask your paed at what age she is happy for babies to feed on demand at night. I know what you mean about blood sugar levels, but if she's putting on weight well and is healthy, I think that's unlikely to be a concern. Some babies are naturally going longer than 5 hours and are doing great. The main impact will probably be on your breasts! You could feel quite engorged. After the first feed of the morning, do a little check to make sure no bumps and lumps are remaining. Sometimes if babies go long intervals at night too early, it can impact on supply but 5 hours should be OK. Enjoy the sleep! You may get a new pattern in a few weeks.

Ady

7/16/2015 04:08:10 am

Ok:) thnx for the advice Emma. Yup il b goin to see the paed next week, will ask him.

Kat

7/15/2015 04:04:02 pm

Love this article!!!
I wish I've read it when I was breastfeeding my twins. It would have given me a better knowledge about bf and more confidence. Thank god for mumsnet Forum! With their support I managed to bf for 16months!
Xxx

Judy Swoboda

8/4/2015 08:54:52 am

I agree except that working in the hospital with very sleepy newborns when its important that Mom start to get stimulation going--if Moms were not instructed to try at least every three hours, they would let the baby sleep and sleep with no attempts to breast and I think this starts a swirl of no stimulation, decreased milk and so on. And so it begins with lots of mixed messages when really most Moms just want to do what's best.

Katelynn

8/4/2015 12:45:07 pm

I had the opposite problem. I had a very healthy milk supply, but it took me a while to realize it. I would nurse her, then soon after she would be fussy again. She would have "hunger cues" and people would say, "Oh, she's hungry! You should feed her." So I would. But then she would throw it all up! This happened a lot. It took me a while to realize she was getting too much milk and that she just wanted to suck, not eat. So I HAD to watch the clock, and not rely on her "cues." Now, 14 months later, we are starting to wean.

Colet

8/5/2015 10:15:04 am

Hi thank you so much for all the advise.... i thought i was having supply issues.... my baby only feeds every 3 hours but my breasts never feels full. I am working since he turned 3 months old so not possible to feed when he always asks... i pump during the day and night time he nurses on me. He only drinks for 7 MIN AT A TIME THEN IT SEEMS LIKE IM EMPTY BECAUSE HE WONT RELATCH AT ALL...can he really be full?

Fiona link

8/5/2015 01:32:41 pm

Great article I completely adhere to frequent feeding to keep baby happy and encourage milk supply. But when your 5 month old baby starts to feed much more regularly, becomes very cranky but won't nap for long and starts actually losing weight would you agree it's time to start supplementing? I can't let my baby lose weight because I am trying not to believe my milk supply is diminishing

Nuala Murphu

8/11/2015 01:57:21 pm

Wonderful!

Michelle

8/22/2015 12:47:09 am

I am currently BF my seventh baby. I have exclusively breastfed them all, but wish I had seen this article 20'yts ago. All my babies thrived but I have always wondered what I had done wrong because all my babies have never been able to go very long between feelings and would wake during the night for their first year of life. Everyone told me that I should let them go longer between feeds. I'm glad I never listened but if I had only known this, I could have saved myself a lot of self doubt and worry.

Pallavi

8/28/2015 12:22:05 am

I have tried so many things post 5 month completion of baby ,but nothing was working out….

As I hail from India , here one cartoon character “Chhota Bheem” & another one which is famous across the world "wheels on the bus" is extremely famous & kids can easily develop connect with this….while watching this cartoon my baby take the feed very easily & comfortably & :-) really he dont take a single pie if I pause this cartoon on youtube.

My husband made a Youtube video of baby's feeding during watching it & posted there (he was considering this trick as a help for feeding) , kindly spare time & have a look on this this as this has become an oncession for my baby

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlW6h3TpUHI

My question is , how can I develop the habbit of taking feed regularly while he not watching the cartoon ?

I have already visited many doctors but baby is not keen to take the feed.

Kindly help & pls suggest what to do...........

You have written a good article but I am still searching answer for my problem.

Please suggest

Emma Pickett

9/21/2015 02:25:55 pm

Hi Pallavi,

I would use a gentle removal method. So you would change the angle so the baby's view of the video was less clear, distract using singing and other methods, gradually reduce the volume. If any changes are made slowly and gradually, they are more likely to be accepted.

9/23/2015 06:42:50 am

Great read (during night feed!) Glad I came across this article on Facebook, it's made me feel a bit better about the endless nighttime feeds and less guilty about going to bf my baby when he awakes and starts grizzling in the night rather than let him cry it out, although I feel I should be doing what the week by week book I'm reading says and try weaning out the night feed when he cries...

My baby was breastfeeding and latching perfectly well since he was born but now at almost 4 months old he has started to hate feeding time and fights me at the breast, arching his back and pulling his head away from me screaming! He feeds less frequently In the day now, more like 3-4 hours but seems to not want feeding when I offer and I worry he isn't feeding enough. Ive been to bf clinics who suggest offering both breasts, different positions, avoiding distractions but not making any difference. He seems happier to need at night without a fuss and has recently been waking every 1-2 hours at night to feed! But I've read you need to reverse this to cut out night feeds so he's more hungry in the day. I can't seem to do this though! He's never gone longer than 4hours at night but he seems to be regressing even more so now!

I'm becoming more and more exhausted and now started to feel like I'm not doing this right... I really want to continue bf but I'm coming to to end of my tether

Any advice/ suggestions welcome.

Emma Pickett

10/21/2015 07:57:24 am

Sorry you are struggling. Reverse cycling at this age is really really common. The world is more and more interesting and babies often take the absolute minimum in the day and end up taking more at night to compensate. In the day, some people use a nursing necklace to try and hold attention at the breast. If you can keep the line of sight at the breast, you may get just a few more minutes of feeding. Some go in the other direction and black out a room at home to get a couple of good daytime feeds. At night, following safe bed-sharing practices can make frequent waking more bearable. I would also recommend reading Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution as she helps you understand whether your baby might be using the breast to transition between sleep cycles (rather than the feeds being simply about hunger). The book contains some good practical tips. This is an age where mums often need to go back to having a nap in the day if they can.

(Apologies for the delay in replying to you)

Melissa

11/4/2015 05:07:45 pm

What about a baby that is receiving breastmilk from a bottle? The mom that I am working with was exclusively breastfeeding then followed a progression into alternating between giving a pumped bottle and breastfeeding to exclusively bottle fed with breastmilk. She continues to pump following this "regular interval" pattern, but has been noticing some irregular patterns with her baby's feeding. She has been following his cues, as have I, but would love to hear your input.

Emma Pickett

11/4/2015 06:20:50 pm

Really good question. If a mum is exclusively pumping (or giving any milk for that matter), ideally we still use responsive feeding techniques. This is in line with the new UNICEF Baby Friendly guidelines that talk about how feeding a baby is a communication experience for all babies. It's about closeness and bonding and about responding to their messages. Bottlefeeding babies may also cluster feed or pause in their feeds if we let them. However, babies can't always follow their natural cues if they are overfeeding on the bottle so we need to be careful that we are using paced bottlefeeding techniques if we're going to try responsive feeding. I write a bit more about responsive bottlefeeding here: http://attachmentparenting.co.uk/responsive-bottle-feeding/
We can also keep an eye on baby's weight gain. If a baby is moving up through the centiles then we might need to rethink how the bottle is being used. Babies come to the breast for lots of reasons and sometimes non-nutritively feed so we need to talk about having cuddles and skin-to-skin if we're not sure a bottlefeeding baby actually wants to feed and perhaps they are asking to suck if they are over-tired or unhappy. There may also be times when using a dummy is appropriate.

Melissa

11/4/2015 09:13:18 pm

Thanks, this was very helpful. I'll look into responsive breastfeeding a bit more.

Ruth

11/5/2015 12:47:57 pm

This is a great article!! I am nursing my 8th baby. Mine have all needed to nurse often. It drives me NUTS when I hear new mothers say that they don't make enough, because everytime they pump, they only get a 1/2 oz per breast. If I had listened to that, I would have stopped nursing very early on. My babies have all been ebf, with the exception of one that went longer between feedings (of course that vicious cycle started) & the Dr. talked me into supplimenting. After that I learned to just nurse, nurse, nurse!!!

Jackie Ramey

11/8/2015 07:59:12 am

One of the best articles I've seen on breastfeeding. Too bad it can't be given to every breastfeeding mother before she even leaves the hospital!!! (I had to learn this on my own; and it took me till my 3rd child.)

Natalie

11/23/2015 03:00:57 pm

Thankyou. This article may just have saved my breastfeeding relationship. I have 4 kids however only successfully established bf with baby 3 and 4. Number 4 is now 4 months and I have spent most of it feeling like a failure after trying to follow the said baby book. Trying each day to get baby on track. Now I'm back at work for 3 days and felt utterly helpless when he was taking 6 oz every 3 ish hours and seemed happy and content till the next feed ( the goal I had set from me feeding him as per the books instructions, but continually couldn't achieve) also adding to my feelings of failure I just can't express that much milk off in the time he is away from me. And have ended up hand pumping every 60 to 90 mins rather than the duel electric pump every 3. By doing this I've found I can express roughly 2 oz each time instead of 3 oz every 3 hours. So overall supply is up.
However started to think that that was why he would only go 2 hours for a feed cause my body wasn't making the 6 oz he needed to go 3 hours between feeds. Your article is what came up on google when I googled my "problems ". However it's made me realise that actually what I thought was a problem is actually not the problem at all.
Everything you said makes perfect sense and all of a sudden this magic baby book 3 hour easy ( which has been nothing but easy ). Makes no sense at all. In fact I must of been mad beating my self up as I have. My new goal. Follow my baby's cues and enjoy. Oh and ditch the formula and pump like mad. Thank you xx

Katie

12/15/2015 04:54:34 pm

What a lovely read (I am of course reading it while feeding!). Your article has made me feel proud of myself all over again so thank you for that 😀
I'm loving breastfeeding my son, even though most of the people around me thinks it's a strange thing to do when there are bottles for that type of thing. It's our own special time and I love it.

Andrea

12/17/2015 05:12:04 pm

Love this article. With my 2nd child, I wised up and threw any kind of feeding schedule out the window. I just intuitively knew that was right. I fed EVERYWHERE and at any time she seemed to need it, including at night as we co-slept a lot of times. This resulted in a healthier and happier baby, a better milk supply, a happier mom and a feeling that it was just "right" to do it that way. Thank you for teaching others through this article.

Cookienorthwest

12/17/2015 09:28:23 pm

What a wonderful article, thank you. My daughter was a frequent feeder, every 2 hours, often less for a long time. As a new mum I really struggled to believe that all was well until she was around 4 months. It was having brilliant support from an amazing breastfeeding counsellor. I over hear so many mums giving up on breastfeeding because they don't feel their baby is 'getting enough'. I hope, or rather I know, there will be a lot of mums out there who will be heartened by your article.

Cara

12/18/2015 09:50:07 pm

Good article. Sadly its not just the books that tell you 3hrs. I had just about every midwife at hospital and the ones at the early childhood centre telling me the same thing. Because my baby wasn't gaining the weight they wanted I must wake her for feeds every 3 hours. She was too sleepy to feed and we continued to not gain weight and the downhill spiral began. About to have my second child and telling them all to not even talk to me about feeding.

Annette

12/18/2015 11:56:49 pm

it's amazing that I see my comment will be posted after it is approved. Now I know why all I read were comments from Mom's that agree with you. Well, whether or not this gets posted, not all Mom's agree with you. There are plenty that believe that scheduled feedings are the way to go, who wants a baby on their breast all day long. I guess a first time Mom is ok with that, but what happens when you have other children to take care of, a home and of course what about Mom's that have to work. What would you suggest they do. You breastfeeding Natzi's make Mom's who do not breastfeed feel that they are not good Mom's, and that is terrible. I think whatever a Mom decides to do is the right way. Don't shove your ideas down everyone's throats, and the children who were not breastfeed grow up the same as the ones that are. Sorry for sounding off, but I'm sure you will be the only one that reads this.

Mary Jo

1/11/2016 09:57:51 am

You say that this article is mostly for the women who are perfectly happy with frequent feedings, encouraging them to resist the prevalent advice about increasing intervals between feedings. But what about women who find breastfeeding so incredibly painful and exhausting that the only way they can imagine to make it sustainable at all is to increase the intervals between feedings? What do those women do? And what if they have a low breast storage capacity and little to no family support? What if the baby seems to be demanding frequent feedings, but mom can't handle responding to every single demand without wanting to throttle the baby or cut off her stinging nipples or just bash in her own exhausted brain? Isn't there some space for trying to 'stretch' the time between feedings just because the mother wants to, because the mother needs a break? Isn't this a two-way relationship? Don't the mother's needs count for anything?

I'm pregnant with my second child. I was able to breastfeed for 14 months with my first, but it was so hard. Every single suck was exquisitely painful for the first three months. I'm convinced the reason was just that his mouth needed to grow bigger to take in more of the breast, and maybe my nipples needed to toughen up or something. I think there was nothing I could have done to change it regarding position or anything like that. Lactation consultants were useless. They couldn't tell me if I had oversupply or undersupply, and I got confusing, contradictory advice. Also, I struggle with allergies, and the only thing that works at all is sudafed, which would dry out my milk as well as my sinuses, so I was even more sleep-deprived because of that than the nighttime feedings made me already. The kid is 2 1/2 and he still wakes up at night.

Breastfeeding advocates do struggling, suffering mothers no favors when they pretend that this is all easy because it's natural. I guess women who do find it easy need their own kind of support to trust themselves and resist advice that doesn't apply to them, but maybe this advice needs to be somehow separated from the advice given to women who struggle. I think those women need to be affirmed in any effort they're able to muster, rather than guilted for the fact that their body isn't cooperating and they're too tired to think. (I appreciated Wendy's comment above.) Instead, if they read an article for luckier moms encouraging them to trust themselves, they might come away from it more discouraged.

Tanya

1/13/2016 03:37:23 am

Hi Emma. I'm busy working with an LC at the moment as my Ped told me to supplement with formula as my little one wasn't gaining enough weight and I really want to exclusively breastfeed.
The doc told me that she might be spending too much time breastfeeding and using up too much energy. She's 9 weeks now and spends about 45mins to an hour on my breasts. Sometimes longer but only actively feeding for about 30-40 mins. It's her happy place so I let her stay on as long as she likes (well falls asleep).
Could this possibly true? The doc told me to feed her for 25 mins and then give her a bottle afterwards.
I've now stopped that now and we are giving it a week trial of EB.

Thx Tanya

Emma Pickett

1/13/2016 08:11:37 am

The idea of a baby expending energy at the breast is something we consider when talking about premature babies who normally tube feed but not at this stage. In fact there's evidence that bottle feeding takes more effort and energy. A baby snuggled close to you and gently feeding on the fattier slower milk towards the end of a feed is keeping warm and relaxed. These things all help weight gain.

We do want a baby to do some swallowing though, if we want them to put on weight. You can use switch nursing - start on one side, then when swallowing slows try some breast compressions (see Dr Jack Newman's handout and video). Then switch sides and repeat and then go back to the first side again. That first breast isn't 'empty'. It has high fat content milk that your baby can get another dose of if they are happy to work a bit. Breast compressions can be a good way to get extra milk into a baby who seems to be hanging out. Hanging out at the breast is not a negative thing. It doesn't use up energy or cause harm but if you suspect she's not swallowed in a while, you may want to encourage her to swap sides. If weight gain is an issue, we may want to place a higher priority on the 'not just hanging out' bits.

Jordan

1/22/2016 08:00:15 pm

What a wonderful article. I'm a first time mother to a 18.5lb 4 month old who feeds every 2-3 hours all day and night. I was searching to see if this was ok and came across your site. Very encouraging to read this now and I'm grateful to have found this website.

Sofia

2/11/2016 07:47:43 am

I really loved this article. Thank you so much. I'm currently bf my 3rd child who is nearly 3 months old. From very early on she has done good blocks of sleep at night. I would wake her in the very early days but as time has gone on she has now stretched to even doing 8 hours a night all by herself. I've asked the HV's advice a few times on whether I should be waking her but they have always said its fine.

She was 7lb 2 at birth and did not lose any weight afterwards. Her weight gain is good and she is nearly 13lb now.

My question is I find her feeding habits during the day exhausting. She will most certainly feed every 2 hours if not less and cluster feeds every evening. With 2 older children to look after aswell I find her pattern very tiring. I'm worn out as the day goes on. I have read so much about milk production at night and feel like this is something I have missed altogether because of her feeding style of not waking at night. The earliest she wakes is 5am.

Have I affected my supply by not feeding her at night?? I wake up to very full breasts from the long break. I have set my alarm a few times to wake her and even considered pumping in the night to keep supply up. I rarely sleep well myself as she is a very noisy sleeper and I guess I'm always on edge thinking she is about to stir.

My other 2 did wake at night so this is my first experience with no night waking.

Do you have any advice in this respect? Many thanks x

Emma Pickett

2/11/2016 09:12:34 am

Hi Sofia,

What was your feeding pattern with your other 2? I just ask because if they also fed quite regularly throughout the day, it might be that your storage capacity means you are a mum who is more likely to be feeding 2 hourly rather than 3 hourly. I'm not sure we can go as far as to say her night patterns have impacted negatively on your supply. After 2 previous nurslings, you likely have a healthy amount of prolactin receptors already in place. I can see she didn't lose any weight after birth. It sounds like her weight gain is no concern and she's in good health. Most likely she has adjusted her intake to need more calories in the day because of her nights. If she needs around 6-7 feeds in 24 hours and sleeps 8 hours, she's going to have to fit that milk in somewhere!

However, I'm not saying you have to just put up with your current situation and struggle without making any changes.

I think the area for you to focus on is your own sleep during the night when she's settled. It sounds like you have no need to pump or worry about pumping and now it's about you taking advantage of the sleep on offer. Perhaps by considering pre-bedtime relaxation techniques, restricting screen time etc. Is there someone else who could care for her for the first part of the night and you could even sleep for a block of time in a different space (if that feels right). I suspect if you sleep well at night, you may find her patterns in the day easier to cope with. Have you also considered using a sling. That gives you a chance to feed and settle her potentially without a feed and you can still care for your other children.

When you do feed her in the day, are you offering both sides and even returning back to the first side again for an extra dose of higher fat content milk? You could also finish with some breast compressions if she's getting sleepy.

Sofia

2/11/2016 10:48:08 am

Hi Lisa,

Thanks for your reply. My oldest was a regular feeder pretty much all day and would wake at night too. She got into a every 2.5-3 hour during the day at around 3.5 months.

My son would always last 3 hours in the day and woke twice at night.

It's positive to hear my body has most likely adjusted to the no night wakings with baby no 3. I offer her both breasts per feed. She has always been a very efficient feeder as is most likely finished on the first breast in 10 mins or less. I can't get her to stay longer. I will definitely try breast compressions.

Also in your opinion what are the more clearer hunger cues at this age? My daughter enjoys her hands in her mouth so I don't really follow that cue as she seems to do it for comfort and looks happy. I often confuse the sleep and hunger cry. I find she will scream sometimes when I know she is tired but just wants to comfort feed very quickly to sleep.

Sleeping for me- im trying to relax more and take advantage of the time block she offers me at night. Although I almost wish she would wake at night to give me some sort of a break in the day. She cat naps pretty much most of the day.

Every child is so different. I see similarities with my 3 but feeding styles have varied each time.

Thank you again for your help and advice. X

Emma Pickett

2/11/2016 12:33:05 pm

Hi Sofia

Some mums do choose to wake their babies for feeds for a variety of reasons. Certainly doing another feed before you go to bed is commonly done. Though that wouldn't necessarily guaranteed a change in the day.

I wish I could easily describe feeding cues at this age but if you can't recognise them in her (which is not at all unusual), I don't think I'm going to have any added insight. You are the expert when it comes to her. You are right that hands aren't necessarily reliable but hands won't be enough for a baby who really is hungry and you'd see an escalation in terms of her becoming more unsettled. The breast is not just about hunger of course. It's purpose is also in comforting and helping a baby to sleep. Unless you have a reason to do otherwise, offering the breast and letting her use it for the purpose she needs to may not be a bad idea.

Laura

2/15/2016 09:07:46 am

Thank you for this article. It really helped me keep perspective after another night of multiple feeds with my 5 month old!

Anja Harnisch link

2/24/2016 02:27:01 pm

Dear Emma,
what a wonderful article! Although I'm a La Leche League Leader for over 10 years now I still found some amazing details in this article. I would ask you a favor: could we get permission to translate this article to make it available to mothers in Austria? Of course I would mention you as the author and post a link to the original article and to your book. Please get in touch with me!

Emma Pickett

2/24/2016 03:09:22 pm

Hi Anja,

Absolutely. Please feel free to translate and share it with whoever might find it useful.

Best Wishes,
Emma

Siva

2/25/2016 07:19:39 pm

Thanks for this informative article. Answers almost all the doubts that new moms have. It's sad to see such misleading books. Worst part is to see misinformed doctors and plunkets who make it very difficult for moms to follow their instincts. I wish your article reaches everyone.

Kayla Rankin

2/26/2016 06:00:29 pm

Excellent article!
I wanted to say, in case any other new moms ever have this issue, my story was different.
My baby had a lot of days where she would refuse to nurse for hours at a time 5,6, a couple of times even 8, during the day. I was so concerned and worried, but there was absolutely no help or information out there to help me. She's 6 months now and she eats every three hours (her schedule), and she's always been healthy and happy. The only answer I have is that I had serious oversupply issues, she knew what she was doing, but medical professionals don't teach you to listen to your baby or your instincts. It's all about numbers.

Hanna P

3/18/2016 12:45:15 am

Thank you for this article. I used to doubt my abilities as a mom thinking I was doing something wrong. I now watch for his cues instead. It's still tough but I am so much more at peace.

Sherri

3/25/2016 04:50:13 pm

Unfortunately, my stress about establishing a feeding schedule came not from a book, or from doubting family members, it came from my need to return to work when LO was just 6 weeks. I do not have a job where I can just disappear and blissfully pump. It would be nice for companies to support families with at least 6 month of paid leave, so breastfeeding can be fully established before women need to return to work, and then oump on a schedule (we cannot just leave every hour to go pump).

I was able to breastfeed until 18 months(pumping at work until 12 months as allowed by law), when LO decided he didn't need it anymore, but pumping sucked, and I did not like breastfeeding until around 9 months when LO slept better and therefore I was more relaxed.

It's a shame what our economy and society has done to destroy the breastfeeding relationships of mother and baby :( breastfeeding would have been much less stressful had I been able to stay home with my baby and not have to work.

Krysten

4/18/2016 08:21:29 am

Thank you so much for this article. It is exactly what I needed to read right now. My little girl (3 months) & I have been through quite an arduous breastfeeding journey to date. I ended up with badly damaged nipples in the first week & had to exclusively pump for 3 weeks then progress to a shield for another 8 weeks as I was still too raw to feed without. I was so determined that my baby would only have my breast milk, people thought I was nuts but I knew I was doing the right thing for her. We are now feeding without shields. She has been unsettled for the past week or so ('growth spurt' perhaps) & has developed a hoarse cry over the last couple of days. I took her to the dr today and she told me that my daughter is counting because she getting too much milk & shouldn't be feeding at intervals of less than 3 hours 'at her age'. Sometimes she feeds every hour or so during the day, but will go a stretch of about 5 hours initially at night. Then she wakes every 1-2 hours for more snacks, which she promptly receives. I was made to feel that I was doing the wrong thing by my daughter to let her feed frequently. I cannot bear to leave her to cry when she is telling me that she is hungry. THAT makes me feel like a bad mother.
So thank you for putting my mind at ease. I'll continue to go with mine & my baby's instincts.

Ashley

4/19/2016 08:42:50 pm

I had a nurse at the hospital tell me the day my son was born that my son shouldn't be nursing for more than 20 minutes. He nursed for about 40 minutes and it really shook my confidence. Then at his one week check-up the nurse told me that breast feeding was no good if I had to use nipple shields ( which I had to use the first few weeks until my son could get a good latch without them) and that I should just switch to bottle feeding because my son wouldn't get the nutrients he needed through the shield. It was my first child I didn't know anyone who had breastfed and was already feeling unsure and worried. I was ready to give up until I spoke with my local WIC peer counselor who boosted my confidence and reassured me. I ended up breastfeeding until he was 11 months old and he was as happy and healthy as could be. Now whenever I k someone I know is pregnant I tell them about my experience and encourage them to at least try to breastfeed, that it can be difficult at first and you can get discouraged easily when it's new territory for you, but if you persevere you won't regret it.

Hayley

4/25/2016 04:43:18 am

Thanks I was told to Breast feed every 3 hours and it was not working:)

Melodie

4/26/2016 01:27:11 pm

What if I need to start spreading out feeds because I'm going back to work? I'm perfectly fine with feeding every hour ( baby is 7 weeks), but I can't make that work with going back to work.

Emma Pickett

4/26/2016 04:36:17 pm

It's going to depend when you go back to work of course but assuming it's not for a few months yet, this isn't going to be your baby's pattern as time goes by.

6-8 weeks is a peak for feeding frequency for most people. As the months creep by, life changes. Babies get bigger stomachs and that means they can manage with less frequent feeds. They also start to get more interested in the world and many mums of 4 and 5 month olds are more worried with GETTING their babies to feed in the day as they are so interested in everything else. Patterns also change once solids start.

Even if they do stay feeding fairly regularly, when you are back at work, baby will probably be taking bottles. You don't necessarily have to pump at the exact times they might be feeding. You might find 2-3 times in an average working day for a 6 month old baby and then breastfeed in the morning and evening and perhaps once at night.

The basic message is - things will honestly change and find a breastfeeding counsellor or lactation consultant to help you talk through your plans nearer the time if you are still concerned.

Jessica

5/8/2016 06:08:12 am

You make some excellent points however (this is just my opinion does not mean it is correct) you are very openly putting down a method that you simply disagree with by assuming the worst. What I mean by that is you very obviously have decided that anyone who chooses to utilize a schedule is letting their child cry in agony when they are hungry which is not the case. It's flexible and coming from experience ( 2 kids under 2 who both slept through the night by 12 weeks) I would never let either of my children cry if I knew they were hungry and absolutely needed to eat.

Fact: tired babies act hungry. So always using the breast as a crutch is confusing to them. Sometimes they are legitimately just tired and mom shoving her boob in their face is not always the answer.

I completely respect your opinion and I have more respect for Moms than anyone... It is the best job we do. These are just two very different methods that can both breed healthy children. Personally I feel it is important for the relationship to be parent led. Children are kept safe and learn the world through the boundaries we create. Marriage is too important to me to put a baby in my bed every night and neglect my husband (I'll admit that is an assumption I'm making based on what you said about co sleeping). At the end of the day as long as your child's needs are met I don't think any of us can judge what is the right way. There is no right way. It is whatever works for your family.

I think moms should just find a way to love and respect each other regardless of what methods you choose. If you love your kids, want what is best for them those who love you will see that. And here's the thing no body is perfect, we are all human. I think it is time we start supporting each other rather than bashing each other's methods simply because we disagree.

I'm sorry to ramble but motherhood and helping new moms adjust is something I'm very passionate about and this read made me feel like you are putting down a way that is not your way. I'm
Just being honest. There are enough pressures and judgments coming to new moms. I know you mean well and I wish you the best but I think your article could have been worded much more tastefully.

Hélène

5/21/2016 05:37:17 pm

So many more things happen at the breast then being fed. Comfort, soothing sore gums, thirst satiated. Being held by mom in motion. Stuffing that boob in generally works wonderfully in fact. My one baby who preferred me rocking her standing up to get to sleep almost did me in!
My opinion:
The ppl who who wrote that methodology you like are coming from a 1940 or 50s mindset. They are also twisting Bible priciples. Heres a specific verse in Lk ", and my children are with me in bed; ". Mary Pride pointed this out in mid1990s and she's no raving liberal, child-centered nut. Ppl coslept for millenia, including ancient times. Still do around the world. Babies happened and happen nonetheless, your husband would not go without.

Marie link

5/11/2016 05:58:59 pm

Thank you so much for this article...im 4 months in with my baby and up to this point I have not read any content on this subject and always wondered why I panic over the timing of feedings...this really helped put my mind at ease and has changed my views forever because it just feels so right!

Andrea

6/27/2016 02:05:56 am

That's awesome news!!! Enjoy your little one!

Thea

6/3/2016 09:36:18 am

Thank you for this wonderful article. Reading the responses brought tears to my eyes. It's fantastic there are people like you so committed to helping mothers bf. I wasn't breastfed, my mother had psychological issues feeding, and before my baby was born I only vaguely knew breastfeeding was important for baby health. Fortunately our German hospital was fantastic, even had a breastfeeding room and 24 hour support from wonderful post natal nurses. I was lucky: our poor bub had terrible jaundice but it meant I had six days getting help. It wasn't easy...bub couldn't attach properly - when he even had the energy to eat. But the nurses encouraged and sometimes even bullied the new mums to keep going. I said to one nurse, my breasts are small, they are not good for breast feeding. She shot right back - you have wonderful breasts for feeding.
When we got home I was still really struggling. My nipples were covered in soft scabs and I had shooting pains up to my shoulders. I spent hours up at night in a cold room trying to get it to work. Fortunately we went back to the hospital to have his bilirubin levels checked and my husband told the nurse about my pain. She was great and had already organized me a double pump paid by the German health cover. She said pump three days. You're just stressed, and baby is getting stressed too. I pumped two days and we were ready to go again.
Since then it's been wonderful. A midwife friend said to me, you both have to learn to make it work together. Bub eats a lot - every hour during the day on average. Sometimes twice. Every three hours at night and he's nearly 12 weeks. He's gained 375gm on average each week for the last month! I've had people say it's a lot of feeding. My mother in law suggested I try "stretching" feeds. My wonderful home visiting midwife (who has been generally incredibly supportive of breast feeding) even suggested trying to distract him.
But we're both happy, so we're keeping at it. For all other mums - try safe co sleeping. Even for part of the night. It saves ages of time and stress coaxing bub back to sleep. And invest in a king size bed so poor dad doesn't feel excluded! And make sure he brings you a cup of tea or coffee in bed in the morning. Little luxuries help.
So thank you to those people who've helped me - my friend Kate the midwife, the German midwives and nurses and online specialists. I never knew how wonderful breast feeding was, and I'm glad I stuck it out till it became wonderful and am doing the best I can for my baby! Keep trying new mums - it's hard but you're not alone!

Katy

6/11/2016 02:58:56 pm

This is such a great article! Much thanks from a new mother in a similar position.

Mel

6/21/2016 12:09:47 am

I read the article and totally appreciate the fact based information creating understanding of how breastfeeding is and meant to be individual and on demand. I have abided to these methods and now nursing my second baby who is 9 weeks, and based solely on her cues feeds/snacks hourly if not more during the day and about 2 hourly overnight. I have a toddler 2years old who requires oodles of attention and stimuli. To be honest it is not sustainable. Running on 3hrs sleep a night continously for the past few months takes its toll. Not having others to help with the toddler translates to both of my childrens needs/wants not being met. This can so easily spiral into exhaustion and acopia. Sometimes we need to regroup and create a healthy balance that is sustainable to prevent mummas collapsing into a heap. Bring on the formula if it helps. Bring on a feeding schedule if bubs is gaining weight at a healthy rate. We can't all exist being a feeding conduit for months on end when it compromises other children and mummas wellbeing.

Hélène

6/21/2016 02:24:25 pm

Lay down with your baby! Sleep next to her, at the very least...co-sleeper or crib with side rail gone so you can snug it up against the bed. If you feel you must, push her back over to the co-sleeper but do not get up with her! It's an easy skill to learn, nursing with barely waking up all night. I cant fathom getting up with my babies.
Put an extra thick diaper on her too so you dont need to change her. If you changed and nursed her last at ten pm, she'd make it till 6 in one dipe. Maybe daddy could change her then when she wakes and hand her back for nursing so you can sleep more till the toddler wakes up?
La Leche League is international and a godsend for nursing mommas for further help and support to stay exclusively nursing your babies for up to a year even.

Cherie Sheahan

6/21/2016 04:36:52 pm

I was told babies burn more calories than they consume if they feed for more than 20 mins on each side during a single feeding. Therefore I was told to limit the time I fed my lo. That advice was given by a lactation consultant that I went to see at the hospital after I struggled with my supply. Thoughts on that?

Emma Pickett

6/21/2016 06:05:48 pm

We sometimes see that advice for premature babies especially when they are practising early breastfeeding and we're not sure effective milk transfer is happening. It's not advice you should be given for healthy term babies. Removing a baby who is still actively feeding is going to deprive them of vital higher fat milk. And will also impact negatively on your supply. A baby who is coming to the end of a feed, lying in your arms, bathed in relaxing oxytocin and cholecystokinin, performing fairly smaller movements required to feed, is hardly burning more energy from what they consume at the moment the milk is at its richest in calories.

Some babies may move to non-nutritive feeding and that could mean that they are hanging out without transferring a lot of milk. If there are weight gain and supply issues a lactation consultant may suggest you reduce the length of non-nutritive feeding so you can focus on expressing or top-ups. They may talk to you about how to recognise a swallow and when milk transfer has stopped, perhaps after some breast compressions. But this won't happen after X number of minutes (it's different for everyone) and you are not removing a baby still swallowing because they are using up more energy.

Andrea

6/27/2016 02:01:54 am

Excellent article!!!
The only thing I didn't agree with is that I don't think it's just certain books, family and peers that spread the wrong information. I've heard these exact "every 2 hours" things from doctors and childbirth educators.

Cathy

6/29/2016 12:56:10 am

What a wonderful article! I'm a grandma now-but had surprise 4 lb twins 32 years ago. EVERYONE told me I must feed them every 2 hours when I brought them home. I SO wanted to let them tell me when they were hungry. Would you suggest a time table for small but healthy early (between 2 weeks and 1 month early) babies?

Samantha link

7/3/2016 03:31:55 am

Thank you for this article. My 3 mo old only nurses from one breast. He has trouble latching on the other one. I was told by several nurses at the hospital and a pediatrician that it would be impossible to achieve a normal milk supply. They were all wrong. My baby nurses on demand and is a healthy Weight. So glad I followed my instincts.

Heather

7/4/2016 04:29:26 pm

This was very helpful for the next baby. But any advice for the working moms that breastfeed?

Emma Pickett

7/8/2016 05:38:10 pm

I think the key thing is to find a caregiver that understands that responsiveness to baby/ young child is at the heart of helping a little person to flourish. You want nannies and nurseries that understand paced bottlefeeding and responsive feeding, that allow babies to control their own solids intake and see communication as a vital part of their role. Communication with the baby and with the parent. They understand that breastmilk feeding doesn't have to mean X number of millilitres at X number of hours and some breastfed babies might get a significant part of their intake when they are with mum outside of working hours.

And to understand that when you are with your baby, it's not necessarily your job to stick to a routine imposed by anyone else. Babies are very capable of being adaptable and going back to a more flexible pattern when they are with mum - and that really helps your milk supply. Feeding to babies' cues throughout the weekend means better pumping output on Monday and Tuesday when you are back at work!

Julie

7/5/2016 06:36:11 pm

Someone with sense. Absolutely TRUE good advice :)

Stephanie

7/10/2016 01:53:38 pm

Thank you for your article. I have been all over the place with breastfeeding my now 6 month old. From over supply and blocked ducts to under feeding, co-sleep feed on demand and trying to observe a pattern to interval feed. Thankfully he has always been a healthy baby and now we are back to on demand and co-sleeping, as he is needing to feed more frequently during the night. I used to worry that his feeds were too short, but I remember when he was born that the nurse said he had a nice strong suck, so maybe he is just efficient. Even when babies get a rhythm, its a guide not a rule. I find that parenting babies is a serious of guesses until you get it right, however the answer is usually food.

Charles

7/22/2016 10:47:46 pm

I keep telling this to my wife and mother in law but they won't listen. They insist to feed our newborn baby, almost 1 month now, every 3 hours. He is bottlefed and he cries and puts his hand in his mouth every 2 hours, but they force him to wait. I don't know how to change their mind anymore, and asking them to read things like this won't do as they get tired after reading 2 lines and they are stubborn on their beliefs.

Any ideas and how I can get them to be more flexible with his feedings?

Liliana

7/27/2016 08:11:09 pm

i am a grandma and mother of six children and have used both my heart and my mind to navigate those first weeks. Yes I am guilty of playing and cuddling my baby in the evening so that bedtime is around 11-12 pm. If they woke in the night they were fed,changed and put down to sleep or carried around if they didn't settle. They soon woke less at night and were awake in the day and I had enough time and energy to care for the family.it wasn't demand feeding and it wasn't three and four hour scheduling. It was what worked for me and baby and family. There are sometimes alternatives to placing baby back on the breast which are important eg time with Dad or another significant carer. Time to cuddle and play. Time in the bath etc.Crying doesn't always mean I'm hungry.Do what is right for you without tipping you over the edge into depression. Three of my babies breast fed exclusively, three had a bottle sometimes from Dad so I could sleep. All are healthy ,happy adults.

Simone

8/2/2016 09:44:16 pm

I agree with this to a certain extent but the problem I had with my baby is that I did do as this article says and responded my baby when she wanted milk but she loved breastfeeding so much that she refused food. She woke up numerous times over night for a feed and completely refuse food throughout the day. Her weight was fine but she was getting low iron levels and not learning. I had to cut her breastfeeds down to 4 a day instead of her usual 9 so that she'd eat. She hated it and there where lots of tears from her and me. So while I agree you need to listen to your baby I also think it's not as black and white as this article makes it sound. Evie is 13 months and has only been properly eating for 1 month even though i started her at 4 1/2 months and offered it to her 5 times a day. I hope this gives a little insight to someone who might be facing the same problem 😊 x

Jill

10/15/2016 09:44:48 pm

Thank you. That's all. Just thank you xx

Aditi

11/28/2016 12:07:27 pm

I can't begin to tell you how relieved I am after reading this article. Thank you!

tam

12/7/2016 07:49:40 pm

thank you for this post. i baby-led breastfeeding and now that she is 5 weeks old i believe the supply and demand has been established i.e. i produce exactly as she needs. we do not have schedule and time between feedings and it is never the same or regular. anyway the whole breastfeeding experience is excellent, the connection, knowing that i give the best food, medicine and protection to my baby and the practicality (i cannot imagine preparing formula, sterilize, timing, counting ml etc etc),. i only have one concern, as a working mama i will need to go back to work in 3 months so i decided to start pumping milk and i see that i pump so little within 24hrs, not even a meal (she needs approximately 100ml+ at each feeding) this is very frustrating as i really want to breastfeeding as long as it takes and make sure when i'm away she will have enough so i won't need to introduce formula. do you have any suggestion? i wished the maternity leave around the world to be minimum 6 month so all women get the chance/ability to EBF as per WHO org.

Dawn B.

1/20/2017 03:18:37 pm

Thank you for this article! This is spot on. And helps to make mommies like me feel normal. I'm currently nursing my second baby and have trusted my body and my babies throughout our nursing lives. We've gone against family members well meaning "advice" of nursing at specific intervals (following a specific "brand" of parenting), and I nurse both of my babies on demand. It's tough, with lots of sleep deprivation. But my babies are both happy, healthy, and thriving kiddos. I KNOW they're both getting the best start in life and know unconditional love.

Bev

2/26/2017 09:08:16 pm

I loved breastfeeding feeding. It was the best to know you were nourishing your little one. I had 4 kids and each ones pattern was different. My oldest I had so much milk that I could donate to the hospital. She nursed every 4 hours when I was home. When I went back to work every 24 hours. She would not drink milk out of a bottle so she waited. All 3 of my girls nursed 2 until their kids were 2 plus in age.

Dyllan

3/7/2017 03:07:22 pm

Thank you for this great article! I'm doing exactly what you mentioned this time round with my second child and he's growing well. However, I will be going back to work when he is 3 months old and I'm concerned that my supply will decrease as I will be expressing milk at work and the frequency will not be as high as how I feed him at home. Do you have any advice for this?

Emma Pickett

3/7/2017 04:46:29 pm

I can understand that it may not be easy to maintain the same supply levels in the day when you are at work - but actually you probably don't want levels to remain EXACTLY the same (unless you work somewhere where you can pump A LOT).

You will probably find your supply adjusts slightly to produce more when you are with baby and breasts are surprisingly clever at adapting to a different schedule. Just like they do when babies start to sleep longer at night.

All you can do is pump when you can at work - ideally with a decent double pump and using hands-on pumping techniques. And feed baby when you are with him. You'll probably find that your supply is boosted after a weekend or holiday and by Friday you might be pumping a little less. That's OK. You might find baby wants to do an extra feed at night or when you are together.

Hands- on pumping is really valuable. We know it helps increase output and therefore helps protect supply. Have a look at the Stanford University video: https://med.stanford.edu/newborns/professional-education/breastfeeding/maximizing-milk-production.html

Megan

3/15/2017 03:18:44 am

I wish I had read this a few weeks ago☹️ My little girl is 7 weeks now. I had a reduction in 2005 and was over the moon when I exclusively breastfed her for the first four days and she was doing so well. I got home from hospital and she was feeding every 1-2 hours and I was told she must be hungry. I thought she wasn't able to get enough milk out and from that day I gave her a bottle straight after each feed. Now she hardly breastfeeds and she's taking mostly formula. Is there any way to try and switch it around and get her drinking more from me? She tends to fight my boob now and suck for 5 minutes if that

Emma Pickett

3/15/2017 09:36:50 am

Hi Megan,

Relactation is definitely possible, though emotionally and physically it can be tough and it's best to do it with the support of a lactation consultant or breastfeeding counsellor and the support of family and friends.

Essentially we need to focus on building your supply so that the breast is a place where she gets more reward and a positive upward spiral begins.

That's usually going to mean expressing with a hospital grade double electric pump (which can be rented) using hands on pumping techniques (Stanford university have a good video on this about maximising milk production).

Ideally you'd be pumping for 10-15 minutes around 8x in 24 hours. We want to avoid a long gap where breasts are left unstimulated.

Some mums also take herbs during this process.

We also want to make the breast a happy place: skin to skin, hanging out when not feeding, bottles at the breast.

You may also want to look into using an SNS or lactaid so you can supplement her while she is attached to the breast.

When you are happy she is swallowing and breastfeeding feels more active and positive, you could gradually reduce the formula. You'd need to be cautious and monitor her weight and nappies/ diapers while you do so. If we drop formula too quickly, she may be at risk and a baby who is conserving energy won't be a more effective breastfeeder for starters.

I would suggest seeing what support you can find locally. But it's not too late.

I can understand why those around you were cautious at the beginning as breastfeeding after reduction can be unpredictable but frequent feeding at that stage alone is not an issue. Only if it was combined with weight and nappy concerns. You may find bfar.org helpful if you haven't already found it.

Good luck!

Emma

Chloe Q link

3/18/2017 02:57:14 am

Thank you! I am a first time mama with a 6 week old. Since he was born at 34 weeks, we spent the first couple weeks of his life in a NICU where I got really used to their structured care. Although I had multiple lactation consultants, we were working more on supplemented feeds with an NG tube and coaxing him into all oral feeding. Naturally, getting him home and into a more normal pattern has left me a little frazzled! Thank you for the common sense advice with cited research.

Sabrina

4/10/2017 10:56:38 pm

Thank you. I have a 4 month old who is wanting to breastfeed every 1.5-2 hours. I know my supply is fine, and I breastfed his older brother until 18 months, so I know I can do it. I'm just constantly feeding him, so it's hard to do much of anything. But this helped. Thank you.

Kelly

5/22/2017 08:09:32 pm

Just want to say how much I love this article. Unfortunately I didn't find this article until my baby was around 6 months old and I had indeed fallen into the intervals trap in his first months, but now I share this link with every new mom I know.

Jamie link

5/23/2017 07:25:17 am

Emma, this is outstanding. Every pregnant 🤰🏻 woman from here to Siberia needs to read this. It's 100 percent true and what's going on is scary. I've had to help 3 of my friends this year already that were told "you're not making enough milk, you need to supplement"
It makes me so upset. How about you just give them a notecard when they leave the hospital that says. "You're the pacifier" and leave it at that.
My babies wouldb breastfeed every 15 minutes sometimes during those first weeks. It's great! It establishes your supply and bond. Interverals? I have never tracked anything besides wet diapers. I can't imagine trying to track a baby. What a joke. Thank you for writing the truth. It's hard to come by.

Bronwyn

5/24/2017 12:04:00 am

What an excellent article - thank you for writing so articulately about an issue that shouldn't be so complicated, but it definitely is. I am 11.5 months into our b/f journey and we have been very fortunate to have things run smoothly but I did read all "the" books and wonder at times whether I was doing everything right. I have also noticed the number of comments like "you aren't still breastfeeding?" Or "you know that you really are breastfeeding for yourself don't you? He doesn't need it now that he is on solids" (that last one from a doctor 😱) It is sometimes hard to trust your instincts in the face of comments urging you to do differently but articles like yours are so helpful in giving confidence to follow the path you feel is right. Thank you!

5/26/2017 10:11:20 pm

This article has been so reassuring to me! I wish I had read it before my family were all telling me to 'wait to feed every three hours'. And now my mum insists my baby needs 'topping up'. He is just fine. Gaining weight. Wants to feed pretty much every 3 hours, sometimes more sometimes less. Thank you for the reassurance.

Maarika

8/15/2017 07:38:04 am

Now immagine that in Soviet Union new moms where not allowed to feed their baby througout all night! They where taught to give babys only water but no milk at night and at the daytime strict regime of three hour gap between feeding. No wonder that women of that era say that suddenly they had no milk in their brest anymore so they could feed the baby with breastmilk only two months or so. This is so unfortunate :(

Aarthi

9/17/2017 06:41:38 am

What an excellent article! Each child is unique and only a mom can understand and know what her baby wants.
I came across your writing while looking for guidance on feeding my 15 month old baby. I still breastfeed her at least twice a day... sometimes thrice. I feed her 1st thing in the morning for the first time after she wakes up, then the second time when she wakes up after her morning-afternoon nap.... sometimes I feed her in the night before she goes to sleep or I do not. She has solid food in 3 to 4 meals and I also top her up after each solid food with fresh cow's milk.I breast fed my eldest for over 2 years and feel he is the better for it.
Yesterday, my friend warned me about the long interval of feeding and that it was not right, as advised by her mother in law. She said the gap between the afternoon feed (4pm) and next day morning (anytime between 8:30 to 10:30) was too long and not good for the quality of milk. I always let out some milk before feeding her...is there a problem in the long gap? Does the milk turn bad or is affected in any way?
I am actually looking for ancient wisdom here, not the modern doctors' version... anything that your grandmother, or great aunt told you!:)
Thank you in advance!
Aarthi

Emma Pickett

9/17/2017 08:10:50 am

Hi Aarthi,

Milk is constantly remade and reabsorbed. As it sits in the alveoli/ milk storage areas, it washes backwards and forwards through the membrane between your bloodstream and the alveoli to reflect what's happening in your bloodstream at the time. It's freshly made constantly. That's the doctor bit.

The less doctory bit - what you are experiencing is the way breastfeeding naturally develops as nurslings get older. Mothers and nurslings gradually feed less frequently over time - perhaps twice a day, maybe once a day, maybe skipping days. 4pm and 10.30am is nothing. I know toddlers who go 24hrs or more. Evolution and nature keeps them well and keeps us well. If 'old' milk stayed in the breast (without the reabsorption) we'd be subject to infection risk potentially and I suspect the toddler would be rejecting feeds for starters. Ancient mums have been doing it this way for generations and beyond before anyone had a clock. It just felt like the natural thing to do - to respond to your nursling.

Aarthi

9/18/2017 09:12:55 am

Dear Emma,
Thank you for your prompt reply. You have explained it so beautifully well and also alleviated my doubts.
Although I intuitively felt it must be alright, i still needed some assurance. Thank you once again!

Rachel

9/27/2017 07:36:32 pm

Thank you for the wonderful article. I came across it because my 3mo old feeds frequently, he always seems hungry but weight gain is on the low end, although he didn’t lose any weight. My question to you - do you have any advice for how to replace these frequent breastfeeding sessions with bottles? I will be going back to work next week and he will be at daycare feom 6:30 to 4:30pm. I will pump 3 times while at work. Thank you!

Emma Pickett

9/27/2017 08:01:30 pm

Are your day care happy to use responsive bottlefeeding techniques? We want to encourage them to use paced bottlefeeding (some YouTube videos can help). That allows him to control flow and take the quantity he needs. It might mean you leave more bottles but with smaller amounts. At daycare, it’s likely he’ll be distracted and will get used to the fact the routine is a little different on the days you aren’t with him. A good carer will be happy to follow his cues and not try to impose a schedule. Good luck!

Raluca

9/28/2017 05:15:11 pm

Thanks so much for your quick response. If I may ask a couple more questions... most of the feefings he pulls off the breast when the milk flows in. Then gets back on, off, on, off, all the milk ends up on my shirt. He has been doing this since 6 weeks old. They suspected milk/soy allergy and reflux. I eliminated dairy and soy from my diet and he is on prevacid. He is somewhat better, but not a big eater and still pulls off. He has been gaining 3oz per week which is on the low end. He was born 90th percentile and now is in the 19th. Does this sound normal? I worry when he doesn’t eat especially since he will be in daycare 5days per weeks. Thanks again!

Emma Pickett

9/29/2017 07:08:47 am

Hi Raluca,

I’m sorry things are a bit stressful. If you were coming to my group this morning in London, I could watch you do a breastfeed and have a chat about everything but sadly that’s not an option. It’s hard for me to really assess from your description. I’m guessing you’ve already met with IBCLCs local to you? You’d want someone to watch a feed, check your positioning, check tongue function, look for symptoms of reflux. I don’t think you have a reason to necessarily worry that he would feed less at daycare. A good carer will find a pattern that works for him and he’ll be happy to see you and feed at the end of the day.

Lara l

10/23/2017 05:11:17 pm

What about the other way ? I feed on demand during the day, but the ped said not to let my 18 day old newborn go longer than 4 hours at night. She's been sleeping well at night. Usually she only does 1 long stretch at night that I have to wake her for. The other 2 feed are 2.5 or 3 hrs btw and i have to wake her in the morning to feed as well. Can I go longer or still wake her every 4 hours @ night? Birth weight 8 lbs 11 oz. 1 week old she was only 7 lbs 14 oz and then weighed in at 9 lbs 2 oz at 2 weeks old. Will weigh her again at 3 weeks but she seems fine with poops and pees.

Emma Pickett

10/23/2017 05:35:44 pm

I’m not sure how communication goes with your doctor, but did they give you guidance as to when things might change. Regular feeding protects your supply and prevents engorgement but at some point it is safe to let babies sleep longer. Very young babies do need waking for feeds especially if jaundice or any birth complications are in the picture. But if everything is going well, weight is good, nappies are good - we can start to relax and trust their cues. I think it’s time to check with your paed/ ped from what you’ve said.

Agne

12/6/2017 06:26:21 pm

This is one of the most amazing articles I read (while breastfeeding my baby)

It is so all true in this article what your wrote here.

Nothing can compare looking at your baby and holding his/her hand while stroking and touching hair or little face, hands , than some app on the phone which tells for how long you breast feed or how many nappies changed..

Pregnancy is all about bonding with your baby while she or he is still in the belly and after more bonding as you can touch and feel his/her hart beating.

I never downloaded any app as for me it's is more important to bond with my baby even more than I did for 9months of pregnancy.

I cluster feed my little human few weeks ago and I enjoyed every moment and still do.
For me breastfeeding is so rewarding and those nights where I would read something on my phone about baby or I would just watch her feed and falling asleep it's amazing. And even she feeds for 10 minutes every 30 minutes or sometimes feeds for 40 minutes and will have long gap or sometimes she just wants to be on my breast all day, and you know, that's absolutely fine.

I wish you all ladies out there just forget the count for how long baby feeds. Just make sure you hydrate your selfs and have snacks around, good books, good film on.

Our bed is little nest, and we stay in this nest for as long as we need. Feeding, bonding and enjoying companie of my baby.

Good luck ladies.

Mandy

12/10/2017 02:20:46 pm

I have a one month old baby that has a healthy weight gain. However, recently, she has started varying the time of feedings a lot. It ranges from 5 minutes to 40 minutes. My breasts still seem full at the end of shorter durations. I am worried she may not be full at the end of smaller durations, but she does not latch back again.

Bridget

12/19/2017 03:39:11 pm

This is a wonderful article - thank you for writing this and sharing with all. I agree with every word! I recently had my second baby and am having a very different breastfeeding experience. My first ate frequently, cluster fed every evening, and it was great! My second is just three weeks old now but truly only eats every 2.5-3.5 hours. She doesn’t cluster feed in the evenings. Good weight gain, happy baby. I guess I’m actually concerned about being on the other end of the spectrum. I know logically that everything is fine since she is growing, happy, etc but I almost wish she was eating more! And that gets to the point of your article but important to mention on both sides. We haven’t done anything to stretch her intervals it’s just her! But sometimes hard on moms either way due to all of the expectations one way or the other that exist. Any insight is welcome. Thank you again!

Emma Pickett

12/19/2017 03:55:52 pm

Thanks Bridget. An important reminder that things can be different for different babies. Is it unhelpful to say that at only 3 weeks, things can still shift? We sometimes see cluster feeding kick in around 4-6 weeks or around a growth spurt. I hope you continue to listen to your baby as you obviously are doing so beautifully. I think whatever is going on, as mothers we often need reassurance. By looking at our babies, we can see what's happening.

Faye

1/3/2018 10:22:57 am

This is a great article, but I want to help balance the perspective a bit by offering the view of a first-time mummy who WISHED she could have made demand feeding work, but couldn't. My little one is over two now, so it feels like a lifetime ago, but I breastfed until she was 5 months old ("oh, shame, you ALMOST made it to the 'golden six months'" said the healthcare visitor). I struggled with post natal depression, as did my husband, so like many new mums, even the smallest of tasks seemed extremely overwhelming. I wanted so badly to understand what my baby wanted, but I found it very difficult. I latched onto a routine because it gave me a pattern to follow when everything else around me felt totally out of control. My baby followed a healthy line on her growth chart in the little red book. And yes, it was stressful at times, worrying unnecessarily whether she was sleeping at the 'right' time or getting enough. But it was a crutch for me at a time when I really needed it, and I just feel it would be helpful to acknowledge that for some mums, they need a bit of routine, even for "just" six months (it felt like an age to me).

Your article is very informative, and no doubt really reassuring to the mums who want to demand feed. All I would ask is that you just be a little understanding to the mums who feel they CAN'T and who therefore need a routine for them and baby. It doesn't mean they're not "paying attention to their baby" or that they don't "trust their baby".

Bina

1/7/2018 09:16:13 pm

Could someone tell me if the same rules apply to formula feeding? As I know too many people that feed every X number of hours.

Emma Pickett

1/7/2018 11:14:36 pm

Hi Bina,

Although this article focuses on breastfeeding, a lot of the messages can be applied to mums who formula feed. The latest thinking (from UNICEF Baby Friendly and others) talks about responsive bottlefeeding. I wrote a bit more about that here: https://attachmentparenting.co.uk/responsive-bottle-feeding/

So ideally we’re not thinking feeds must only happen after X number of hours and MUST be X millilitres. We are communicating with our baby - listening to their cues and building a relationship based on who they are rather than numbers on a can.

HOWEVER, it is possible to overfeed so we need to be a wee bit careful. The 24hr guidance on amount of formula is going to be about right (even if you might feed more frequently) and weighing your baby will give you a sense of how you are getting the balance of meeting their cues by feeding (or should you sometimes be comforting and soothing in a different way).

Using paced bottlefeeding techniques reduce the chances you might overfeed but they might not eliminate it entirely.

Big picture - for everyone it’s about listening to your baby and listening to those parenting instincts.

Maria

2/14/2018 08:01:18 pm

Hi Emma,
your article is exactly what i needed right now. There is so much information on the internet and its easy for a first time mom to get lost and feel *not normal*. Deep in my heart i knew that there is nothing wrong because at the end of the day me and my baby are happy. So i decided to follow my instincts and enjoy these very frequent feedings. Now after reading your article i relaxed completely! Thank you!

Helen link

3/9/2018 01:54:23 pm

Such a wonderful article! I like breastfeeding it creates a lovely bond between me and my LO

Ashley

3/24/2018 03:59:03 pm

This article is what I needed to read. I am crying right now feeling like I am finally off the hook and that what my baby wants -which is to feed every hour on the hour, comfort nurse to sleep, and sometimes only asleep with a nipple in the mouth flutter sucking- is exactly the right thing for his 2 month old body. I wish I had never read any "E.A.S.Y." books.
The science of milk production is so interesting. I think I am one of those women who produces enough - my baby is healthy and gaining- but doesn't have a ton of ounces available at a time. This is just the way my body is and my baby knows how to make it work for him- so I'm fine feeling like I need to change. Following his lead has made him strong so far, I can keep going. Thank you so much for writing this, I'm so glad I found it.

Diana

4/16/2018 09:34:03 am

Thank you for this article! I thought I am going to spoil my 2 weeks old, learn it to sleep in my arms only, and also I worried about overfeeding as I have a lot of milk. My bad for listening to the opinions of my relatives and friends). My baby girl eats every hour during the day, and she sleeps once or twice for 3 hours (so I can catch up on sleep I guess :)). I was told that
" because she is so little, I am doing her a favor, but I should start giving her a pacifier so that we can stretch the feeding schedule". That is what my pediatrician told me. But after reading this I feel so much better. I'm not forcing the pacifier if she cries for food again! I see that we should trust the course of nature, she has it all figured out. Thank you again!

Kerry Conway link

4/25/2018 01:20:19 pm

“And I’m talking about myself here, by the way. My children under 6 months never went longer than 2 hours between feeds in the day and not much longer at night. My red record books records me feeding at 3 months every 90 minutes or so. So I learnt to feed while babywearing. I went to friendly groups and friendly places and met up with people at home. I read about safe co-sleeping practices which I know beyond a shadow of a doubt saved my bacon. And thankfully, I never felt anything was ‘wrong’. I just trusted my body. I trusted my baby and we worked as a beautiful team. I sat at home on the sofa and fed relatively frequently, enjoyed my box sets and my healthy and not-so-healthy snacks and that was OK. It really wasn’t for long. But the benefits of exclusive breastfeeding will be.” This is only good so long as you aren’t self employed and work from home with no childcare or maternity pay. I wish I could sit on the sofa all day but unfortunately it’s just practical & that’s why I felt it didn’t work for me. (I did mange 4 months with my second but gave up as the juggle was too much)

Lucy Kessler

5/9/2018 10:07:01 pm

Thank you for writing this. I have a 5 week old and breastfeeding has been difficult for me. Not technically, production seems fine, my nipples are fine, baby latches fine etc. it’s just difficult being in demand 24 hrs a day. I also think my baby has a sensitivity to dairy but I’m not completely sure. That’s what makes it more difficult too is just not knowing. Is my baby inconsolable because she needs to eat or because she’s hot or because her stomach hurts from something I ate or because she’s had a stimulating day and is tired etc etc. I found a book that I know many parents swear by that suggest newborns should eat every 2.5-3 hours. But if you’re seeing hunger cues you shouldn’t starve the baby until the timer runs out. It’s just a guideline. But babies should never go more than 4 hrs without eating. I started implementing this 2.5-3 hr rule and it did seem to help a bit. She started predictably waking up from naps right before I was going to wake her up to feed her. She was alert for longer and seemed to have more times of contentment rather than just crying if she was awake. But then I had guests and we got off our schedule and she started wanting to cluster feed again (as she did before I implemented our schedule) and she didn’t have much content wake time. But perhaps this is because I had some dairy and when she was more content I wasn’t eating any dairy. This is my problem and concern. As a new mother, I don’t know what I correct and what’s not and I don’t know what is causing discontent and what isn’t. But I appreciate reading this perspective. It’s refreshing.

Douglas Brodie

8/31/2018 10:51:27 am

Thank you for a beautifully informative and comforting piece. After finishing reading it to my partner, she said 'Oh! I didn't want it to end! ' Such valuable info to circulate, thanks again.

Christine

9/12/2018 10:18:48 pm

After reading this, I am pretty sure everything is ok. My baby is only 2 weeks old. During the day she feeds for about 5-10 minutes every hourish and then at night she will feed about an hour long and last about 5 hours before her next feeding. My concern is not the frequent feeding, I just want to make sure that she is getting the same nutrients of the frequent 5 minute long feedings in comparison to her 1 hour long feedings?

Liz

12/8/2018 07:55:08 pm

Love this!!!! Currently breastfeeding my third child who is 11 days old and just needed some gentle reassurance even though I’ve done this twice before! Just what I needed, thank you.

Jules

12/15/2018 04:17:06 pm

Thank you for this! You are right about all of the other “information” out there, because of it, I was starting to worry that I had supply issues even though my little one was in the 96th percentile in height at his last appointment. I’ve always instinctually fed on demand and I’m glad I haven’t altered my feeding habits based on misinformation that is out there.

AliJ link

1/6/2019 01:33:59 pm

Love this article. Wish I’d seen it before my son (now 13 months and still BFing strong). He was a NICU baby, born nearly 4 weeks early, and that’s where we learned to clock watch. They put him on a 3 hour schedule from birth, did not believe in kangaroo care, and told me to continue these schedules at home. My family doctor told me never to go more than 4 hours without feeding and to wake him if he slept that long. It was not covered in pre-natal classes, nor by the public health nurses who visited post natal. As a first time mom I didn’t even know to question these “experts” in my sleep deprived recovering from surgery shell-shocked from NICU, terrifiedhe will die state.
It was only as I emerged from the panic and found my feet (too many months later as a single mom), that I started to question and google and find better information.
Like this article.
I have so many regrets from his birth, so many things I wish I’d done or questioned or fought for (like holding him more)... his beginning was not the beautiful experience you read about but a trauma I still cry about.
At around 6 months I let go of the clock watching, started bed-sharing, and have found that beautiful groove of symmetry between us. He feeds on need day and night at whatever intervals he chooses and I love every moment.
And some days that makes the beginning that much harder to forgive.
My point is... I didn’t read whatever book is referenced in this article, I followed the instructions from NICU nurses, and doctors, and “professionals” around me. With deep regrets.
I hope articles like this reach people in a personal and professional capacity so no one else starts without questioning advice given. And the advice becomes natural and realistic.

Danielle macgregor

1/6/2019 06:24:45 pm

Love this information, however, what do you recommend for moms returning to work and trying to get pumping done? I have been watching my baby's cues for feeding but sadly I have not had enough time to pump so she has a sufficient supply to have at daycare. I don't want her to have formula at the center. Any tips?

Emma Pickett

1/7/2019 09:47:00 am

Hi Danielle,
I'm not sure where you are based but do you have access to a haakaa pump or nature bond? These are the silicone 'pumps'( that aren't exactly a pump) that apply a vacuum to the breast you aren't feeding from. You end up collecting the letdown from the other side while actually breastfeeding.
I'd also add that you may be surprised how much you can get while pumping during the working week. If you have a look at the Stanford university video 'Maximising Milk Production' there is lots of great information on how to increase pumping yield. Good luck!

Sormeh Afkari

1/14/2019 01:10:36 am

Dear Emma,

Thank you for this article. I read it last night at 4am as I was feeding and thinking why does my son have to be fed every 2 hours when he is already 14 weeks old. As I read your article and the one on baby wearing I couldn’t help but cry. As a first time mum I knew nothing about options and fell into co sleeping and baby wearing and chose to feed on demand. My little boy would only sleep on our chest and hated being on his back and has fed every hour to two from the beginning day and night, except since 8 weeks old does do a 3 hour sleep at the beginning of his night sleep. So for my sanity and to make things easier I started to co sleep at night and wear him during the day naps/sleep.
I love breast feeding and to be honest co sleeping and even wearing him (apart from him starting to get a tad heavy), but society and all of the stupid books and ‘sleep programs ‘ out there tell me I’m spoiling, teaching bad habits and oh he should be feeding every 3-4 hours by know.
I feel so confused how is it that my body was made to feed him and comfort him and that both those put help put him to sleep yet I shouldn’t be using them?
It’s ironic that the study you talked about comes from Australia because I’m from there and midwifes and maternal health nurses still teach you to try and stretch feeds after the first 4 weeks.
Thank you again for making me feel that I’m doing ok and that my son will be ok.

Naomi

1/15/2019 06:47:35 pm

I couldn’t have come across your post at a more perfect time. I have been googling like crazy the duration between feedings and my 6 week old isn’t falling into anything the books say. He stays at 2-3 hours day and night. Even if I cluster feed it’s like this. Trying to have patience until 6 months!!

Haley

1/30/2019 07:03:15 pm

Is there a stretch of time that's too long? My LO is only 2 weeks old. She usually will wake up naturally to feed every 90 minutes to 2 hours. Lately every hour. However, this morning she has not taken an interest and its been 6 hours. I'm not sure if she is just really sleepy from all these feeding spurts or is experiencing reflux, gas, or some sort of illness. I'm not looking for medical advice. I'm just wondering if, in your experience, this is at all normal... for her to just take a break. I'm a new mom and breastfeeding.

Emma Pickett

1/30/2019 08:52:14 pm

Hi Hayley,

Congratulations on your new baby. I know it sounds like a cop out but what does your gut tell you? I’m guessing as you are posting here, you aren’t feeling entirely comfortable. It’s going to depend on a few factors: how has feeding been going until now? Are you comfortable? Nipples OK? Weight gain good (back up to birth weight, no second loss, no loss greater than 10%)? Happy about nappies? At this age, I tend to suggest we nudge babies in the day after 3 hours to see if they want to feed (and perhaps one block of 5 hours at night) but so much depends on context. If a baby fed all night, a block now might be OK. I’d suggest, if you don’t feel entirely comfortable offer the breast and see what happens? If your gut is telling you something isn’t quite right, have a chat with your health professional. No one minds a new parent checking in. That’s what they are there for. She’s probably had a great feed by the time you read this. Best Wishes

Charly

2/8/2019 06:11:44 pm

I know this is an old article, but I just wanted to ley you know that it's still helping people. I came across it last night while I was searching for further "proof" that I was doing something wrong in the way I feed my baby. She's 5 months old, & rarely goes longer than 2 hours between feedings (often every 90 minutes or less). I still nurse on both sides at each feeding, at her demand. She's my first, so she's all I know. When I shared this info with my health care provider (a nurse practitioner), she was shocked & kind of appalled. She suggested that I might have low supply & said that I should be able to just nurse on one side at a time, for longer periods, less frequently. But this was AFTER telling me that she's super healthy & gaining weight perfectly! I also had an IBCLC suggest this at 8 weeks (again, despite healthy weight gain). I know they meant well, but all it's done is rob me of the joy of breastfeeding because I've had anxiety that something is wrong. I've been fantasizing for months about formula, & the "certainty" it could give me. I've kept going because I know breast milk is truly best, but it's been really hard. And why?! Because my sweet, healthy baby just needs to eat frequently. After 5 months of anxiety, reading this article changed the way I feel about my breastfeeding experience in 5 minutes. I wish I'd found it sooner. So, 8 years later, & from the other side of the globe (I'm near Seattle, USA), thank you so much. I will be sharing this!

Marianne abrahams

2/18/2019 05:53:04 pm

Fantastic article that should be handed out in all waiting rooms in maternity units! I so wish I had read this article before I had my baby in September last year. I had my heart set on breast feeding her. We had a difficult birth and unfortunately we didn’t get off to a great start but I persevered. However, when she wanted to feed every 30 minutes in the first few weeks I felt like something was wrong and wasn’t really reassured by any of the midwives I saw that this was normal behaviour (I now know that it is). To cut a long story short, I have ended up expressing all of my milk (as I had a good supply, it felt wrong not to use it) and bottle feeding it to her, which has been incredibly tough mentally, physically and emotionally, but I was so determined for her to have breast milk. I am now sending the link to this piece to all the ladies I know who are expecting and planning to breast feed! I just hope I can use all I have learnt this time round in order to be able to breast feed my (hopefully) next baby.

Meg

3/5/2019 03:38:40 am

I can’t thank you enough for this article!!! I’m so glad I came across it. I have a 3.5 month old and go back and forth, stressing and worrying that “I’m not doing this right”,”something’s wrong”, but nothing is wrong. My baby is fat and happy. I read too much on the internet, all the differing opinions, and I stress. I have a 16 y/o and don’t remember any of these issues...but I also didn’t have a smart phone with unlimited access to every published article on the web. Makes a huge difference. You’re absolutely right when you said “trust your body, trust your baby”. I needed a good, solid reminder that my instincts will get us through and everything is fine, so THANK YOU!

Melissa Gray

5/29/2019 04:36:25 am

I am SO glad I found this article! My son is 7 months old and has been, and still is, exclusively breastfed. We are Introducing solids slowly due to stomach sensitivities. But he nurses every 2 hours, even overnight...still! But I know that he’s “suppose to” be sleeping through the night sometimes or at least going 4 hours between feedings overnight, or so I’ve been told. I was starting to feel like my body was doing something wrong and that if only he nursed less often my breasts would be much fuller therefore he’d get more milk and be more full from one feeding, leading to longer stretches between feedings! You have beautifully debunked this thought process. Makes me feel better knowing that it’s ok. I am a very thin person so I assume I am one who has less storage capacity, but also I think I have a very hungry growing boy! Weight has NOT been an issue for him either so I’ll continue doing what I’m doing and now I’ll just stress less about it! Thank you!

Nina O

7/10/2019 07:26:41 pm

Thank you for this article. As a mom who is currently breastfeeding a newborn who eats every hour and half or sooner... I needed this.

Apoorva

8/4/2019 08:31:33 pm

Thank you for writing it so well and removing a lot of misconceptions related to breastfeeding. My four month old daughter is exclusively breastfed and we continue to do so till 6 months. I now know that I'm not doing anything wrong but I just have to be more patient when she wants to nurse more frequently than 1.5 hours. It frustrates me at times, but as you said this phase will pass in the blink of an eye.
Amazing work!

Kara

9/13/2019 12:01:27 pm

It looks like you get this all the time, but at 4am from a tired bed-sharing mama of a 3-month-old who still eats every 60-90 minutes, thank you so much for this article. I’ve been stressing that we’ve been unable to “stretch” his intervals like his pediatrician told us to. He’s otherwise amazingly healthy and perfect, he just eats constantly!

I think my boobs actually store a lot - I have to block feed to avoid symptoms of fore/hindmilk imbalance, but as long as I am strict about he block feeding we seem to do very well.

Anyway, thank you again, from 4am. Gonna try to go back to sleep now and not fret about when my baby wakes to eat at 5:30.

Jayne

9/18/2019 01:28:40 am

Thank you! I needed this article. Thank you!

Esty

9/18/2019 06:50:08 pm

I can’t express how much I needed to read this. My 6 week old feeds often and even without reading any baby books I felt like intervals were the goal. I found myself telling people that he was on a schedule and that it was awesome, when in reality I was feeding him multiple times within 3 hours and exhausted. Social pressures to have things all nice and tidy are harmful, and being a first time mom I wanted to put up a good face. This validated all of my feelings. I shouldn’t feel guilty for cuddling my baby and responding to him whenever he needs. He’s 6 weeks old for heaven’s sake. He needs me and that’s a good thing. Thank you, and hello from the US!

Vera

10/18/2019 06:01:24 pm

This article makes me feel better about myself. I am one of the mothers that needs to feed my baby frequently. I doubt myself about my supply problem when other mothers seem to be able to perform just like what the books or internet say about feeding times. There are also a lot of mixed messages on the internet and that makes me even more confused if I am taking care of my baby properly. I am already losing most of my sleep on feeding baby, the time to take care of myself and on top of that there is stress from family members and friends, commenting on my feeding frequency and making me feel inadequate. I was not able to be outgoing much because of the frequency. I would have to break up my driving route in segments because I would need to find a parking lot to stop for a feeding session. The health care professionals keep saying I need to reach out to friends/family, but my point is that I find it too difficult for me to go out because I moved to somewhere much further. Therefore, I am a bit geographically isolated. I digressed. I thank you for letting me know that my frequency is not problematic.

Naomi Hefford

11/4/2019 10:21:24 am

Thank you
I have read this more than once, it's so reassuring
So many well meaning but damaging comments from loved ones "she's surely not feeding again??....etc
Thank you

Jessica Logan

11/27/2019 12:54:27 pm

Thanks so much for this. I’m quite worried that my 16 week old goes for hours between feeds in the day and then will only feed for 2-3 mins. Her weight gain is fine but she does feed ALOT at night! I can’t seem to get her to feed more in the day though?!

Tay-yibah Jassiem

11/30/2019 09:17:20 pm

This is the most insightful article that I’ve read about breastfeeding and I just want to say thank you for sharing and for putting all my questions and fears in one concise, well-written article. My baby is newborn and he is a DRINKER (birth weight was 4kgs - which is 8,8 pounds). He feeds every 2-3 hours and on some days, as often as once every 45 minutes - hour. Sometimes he drinks for 20 minutes at a time, and sometimes for only 10 minutes or a little under. He is gaining weight, is healthy and sleeps well. He’s also a very content baby. And loves contact, so co-sleeping often ends up happening at some point during the night - even though I was quite adamant before he was born that he would sleep in his crib. I’m a first-time mom and I am so thankful for articles like these as they are so reassuring and make me feel like I am on track and being the best mom I can be for my baby ☺️

Sujeet Kumar (Mumbai, India)

1/3/2020 06:37:09 am

This is a life-saver. Our 4 month 15 days old baby likes to feed every 90-120 mins round the clock. While my wife has amazingly settled in this schedule (and follows safe bed-sharing), I needed this article to be 100 percent sure that everything is fine with us (and loose comments/ advises from relatives/friends have not helped much).
Thanks a ton - you are doing a great service, Cheers !!!

Michelle

3/9/2020 07:11:45 am

Dear Author

I wish I had read article 3 months ago. I have a little boy that easily feeds every 90minutes,even during the night. And yes, the book I read said that by now the intervals must be longer. Thank you so much for helping me realise again that its normal and that the babies in the baby care books stillneeds to be born. Excellant article will be sharing this widely.

Brittany

3/31/2020 05:41:23 pm

I wish I had read this article sooner! My little one is 8 weeks old and after a c-section and complications I was unable to breastfeed for a couple of days only. However, when I was determined to breastfeed I was met with opposition from my partner and doctors that I wound need to supplement, that baby shouldn’t be feeding so often and was forced to wait it out. At times my partner would tell me I wasn’t making enough milk and my baby was starving and he would opt against my wishes to give him a bottle instead. It was frustrating and I felt defeated and horrible. I wanted to breastfeed and give my baby the best. I wish I could have shown him and those against me this article. Luckily, I had a very supportive sister who travelled from the US to Canada to come help me. I’m happy to say I’m still breastfeeding today and working on pumping so that my bottle supplements are breast milk. It can be frustrating to only produce an ounce or less when pumping - I’ll admit I still question whether I’m providing enough milk for my baby at times especially when my partner sees how little I’ve pumped. I try to tell him it doesn’t reflect what the baby nurses, but it is difficult. Thank you for writing this for mamas who may be struggling <3

JPeartree

4/8/2020 05:31:39 am

I couldn't agree more!

A human body is not digital. It's not operating a steady linear process throughout the day. Why are we trying to push a regular, fixed pattern onto an organic process? ... A baby's activity varies throughout the day. The baby may therefore need to feed differently throughout the day.

And we've known this for a long time!

A Mother's milk has a different nutritional composition throughout the day (Udipi, Kirksey, & Roepke, 1987). Hence, there may be times during the day that the baby feeds more or less.

During the first two months of life, no distinguishable diurnal patterns were observed in infant hormonal levels (Vermes, Dohanics, Tóth, & Pongrácz, 1980). Therefore, needs may vary during the day.

Furthermore, the level of Cortisol - a steroid hormone which helps your body respond to stress, regulate blood sugar, and fight infections - is not the same throughout the day (Mantagos, Moustogiannis, & Vagenakis, 1998).

Additionally, growth is not linear throughout the day (Cauter & Plat, 1996).

You get my point, needs fluctuate during the day. Feedings should as well. POINT FINAL.

References:

Cauter, E. V., & Plat, L. (1996). Physiology of growth hormone secretion during sleep. The Journal of Pediatrics, 128(5). doi: 10.1016/s0022-3476(96)70008-2

Mantagos, ., Moustogiannis, A., & Vagenakis, A. (1998). Diurnal Variation of Plasma Cortisol Levels in Infancy. Journal of Pediatric Endocrinology and Metabolism, 11(4). doi: 10.1515/jpem.1998.11.4.549

Udipi, S. A., Kirksey, A., & Roepke, J. L. (1987). Diurnal variations in folacin levels of human milk: use of a single sample to represent folacin concentration in milk during a 24-h period. The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 45(4), 770–779. doi: 10.1093/ajcn/45.4.770

Vermes, I., Dohanics, J., Tóth, G., & Pongrácz, J. (1980). Maturation of the Circadian Rhythm of the Adrenocortical Functions in Human Neonates and Infants. Hormone Research, 12(5), 237–244. doi: 10.1159/000179126

Becky

4/19/2020 07:33:24 pm

Thank you for this article.

My baby is a little under 3m and lets me know when he's hungry nearly every hour! I'm exclusively breastfeeding (because it worked so well with our 1st) but was beginning to worry that his wanting to be fed so often was a sign that I wasn't producing enough milk.
He sleeps fine, has wet/dirty nappies regularly and is generally a happy chappy, and I couldn't see past my own worry that he is fine!
You've put me totally at ease with this article, thank you again!

Laura Jones

5/6/2020 01:45:41 am

Thank you!!! I am crying after reading this. My baby is so healthy and happy. She is perfect in every way but I somehow felt I was doing something wrong because at 5 months she is still eating every 2 hours during the day and her longest nighttime stretch ever has been 4 hours between feeds. I have been questioning everything: am I making enough milk? Is she actually hungry? What am I doing wrong???

Then I read this and I feel reassured that I’m doing nothing wrong. I let my baby eat when she’s hungry and I shouldn’t feel wrong or guilty about that.

I was worries her sleep patterns weren’t developing. Now I see how silly that is. Thank you thank you thank you. I will continue to feed my baby as often as she wants

Bushra

5/8/2020 07:11:56 pm

Thank you so much for these wonderful positive thoughts..i was so worried from last two months as my baby is feeding every hour and i thought i was producing less milk.you have cleared all my stress and doubts. I have never read such a meaningful article till date.. thnk u..God bless

6/1/2020 02:48:17 pm

Hi
Was really happy to read this post
Makes me feel much better about feeding

My one likes to eat very often, used to be even more and I used to feel like I was feeding like literally the whole day maybe every 1/2 hr or 45mins. Was tiring, a little frustrating in wondering whether this was normal or not. When asking around, I didn't get much help or information to solve the problem, just a giggle and that's normal so I left it for abit and then decided to do my own research
So I did come across few articles etc. And I remember reading one saying that sometimes it could be the latch that is incorrect
And that was the our case
Once the latch got right I kept him on and let him suck on both sides twice draining all the milk, and yeah, thankfully we're much better now
Still feeds often,(I'm not stressing about it coz I can see it's normal from this post ❤️) but not so so often
and there's a happier him and me💙

Thanks a bunch
First time mom

Scarlet

6/7/2020 08:54:57 pm

Thank you so much for this article which I Desperately needed to read right now with a three week old baby attached to my boob, in what feels like a constant feeding cycle. I had started to convince myself there was something ‘wrong’. To know there’s no normal and to understand the huge spectrum of anatomy that effects feeding is a such a relief. Thank you 🙏

Steph

6/23/2020 01:42:04 am

I’m so glad I came across this article.

In my gut, I have felt that I should feed whenever baby is hungry, weather baby goes 45 min oe 3 hours since the last feed. I let baby eat, why would I ever deprive them of food, it’s the basic, most fundamental need of our existence.

I also have mom friends checking in frequently and asking me how my scheduling (eating and sleeping) with my 4 month old is going and honestly, I don’t have a schedule, I don’t need one...... when baby is hungry baby eats, when baby is tired, baby sleeps.

Unfortunately, we are made to believe that without a schedule, we are bad moms. How dare we just be flexible and go with baby’s needs at any given moment and not a YouTube moms regimented scheduled at 2 month!!!’ Insane!

Stacey Goulding

7/22/2020 04:53:38 pm

This article was extremely helpful as my baby does seem to want to feed much more frwiently than 2 hours apart and 40min - 1 hour long from 1pm - 10pm, and I have reynauds. Maddy is my third baby and the condition is just as painful as it was for with the first two. I do feel as though my milk is low as she gets really cranky during these frequent feeds. But the pain caused by raynauds may amplify. I am utilizing all the techniques for raymaids out there. Vitamin B, I have warming pads in bra, homemade breast pads not made from cotton. I do find my nipple looks a tad misshaped after certain feeds, where the match starts out good and then she slips mid way through, or if feeding in bed and she’s extra sleepy (she always falls asleep on boob after a couple let downs, even when I have her just in a diaper and skin to skin)

Anyway, for a baby who does more of the cluster feeds or feeding intervals closer together and a mom with raynauds, do you have any tips over and above those I listed above?

Emma Pickett

7/22/2020 08:58:22 pm

Hi Stacey,
You are amazing for keeping going through the pain but I wonder whether you might need some more support. There are some medical options for the treatment of Raynauds. Is that something you have talked to your doctor about? The misshaping and the slipping off sound like they are making things harder. And some vasospasm symptoms could be related to this rather than your condition. You are looking for positions where gravity keeps baby in place. That might mean a more reclined position where slipping off is difficult to achieve. Have a look online for Nancy Mohrbacher talking about natural breastfeeding positions. She has some YouTube videos. If you can access local breastfeeding support (or video support) that may also be a good idea. Even just slight changes to latch could make feeding more effective and less painful.

Emma

8/20/2020 03:00:51 pm

Thank you so much for writing this article.
Before I had my baby I was very dubious about breast feeding, I just didn't think it would be for me. However, From the moment my new baby first latched on to me I realised I was not like a cow being milked, I was in an incredible bonding moment with the person I grew. He made it easy for me, he showed me the way, and even though it's hard and time consuming I feel blessed to be able to feed my baby this way.
However, and the reason I found this article, my baby had troubles with weight gain. The reason for this was a cow milk allergy. Yet still I had medical professionals from the hospital hounding me about my feeding, and telling me there was a major problem with my milk supply and that I must stop feeding my baby after 20 minutes, take him off my breast and give him a formula. If I didn't want to just give formula then I had to pump after every feed and give him that and then give him a formula.
The manner of the communication had me in tears and made me want to quit breastfeeding. My baby cried when I started forcing him off my breast. He turned away from the formula or sicked it up afterwards. My boobs became sore from the relentless feeding then pumping and feeding sessions went from restful to stressed and me checking all the time that he is swallowing, that milk is coming out etc.
Currently I have found a happy medium for myself. I have returned to responsive feeding because every instinct in me says it's wrong to force my baby off my breast. I give him one formula in the evening which my husband gives while I sleep and I pump 2-3 times a day if I feel like it and offer these as top ups .
My baby always falls asleep after a good 15-20 minute feed. He feeds every hour to 90 mins. I think he is healthy and that I am doing a bloody marvelous job of nourishing him both with my milk and with my love and time for us to chill together, ignoring all the many other things I 'need to get done'. I know one day, all too soon, he will not need me in this way and I will miss it greatly, however I will never be regretful of the washing up I didn't do xx

Natashs

10/28/2020 04:24:06 am

Haha thank you. For this. I always get stressed out about needing to clean up or do the dishes, etc. But you are absolutely correct. My son won't need me in this way forever so I shouldn't get stressed out when he shows his need for me but I want to sweep the floor instead. I needed to hear this. Thank you from one mamma to another.

Rachel

9/3/2020 09:54:54 pm

Not to mention that babies change so fast! My six month old has recently decided she will ONLY nurse lying down in bed so she is going about 3-4 hours between nursings right now and seems quite content. but two months ago she was nursing more frequently.

Sian

9/23/2020 05:31:29 am

Hi,

Thanks so much for this great article! I’ve been struggling this week as my 5 month old is feeding constantly day and night and I’ve been doubting myself. I believe mums need more support because breastfeeding can be very emotionally, as well as physically, draining. My first DS also fed constantly and although I fed him for a year, I often questioned myself, my supply and felt like I was doing it wrong.

If you're feeding on demand and you have a ‘snacker’ or regular feeder then lack of sleep is tough and does take it’s toll. What worked for me is meeting like-minded mums going through the same and who encouraged me to keep going.

Neither of my children has followed feeding or sleeping schedules and have wanted constant physical contact. It saddens me how this is often seen as a sign that something is wrong, particularly from family members!

We need more education about the science of breastfeeding and encouragement for new mums that they’re doing a great job.

Vicki

9/23/2020 06:25:20 pm

I am in tears of relief reading this!!!!! Thank you so much!!!! I needed it after hearing so much crap from everyone!!!! My child feeds very frequently and I was even told that "my breastmilk is no good"!!!!! Can you believe that?????!!!!!!

Natasha

10/28/2020 04:18:19 am

Thank you for this post. I am in tears of relief, getting some quiet time in my bathtub, after a stressful day of nothing but a screaming baby wanting to be attached to my boob for the majority of the day. I was just on here looking for some help/advice to try to figure out what I was doing wrong and after reading this I dont think I am doing anything wrong. Here I am stressing out about my baby, looking up appropriate nap/feeding time intervals for my 4 month old when all I should be doing is paying attention to my baby and what he needs. I can go to sleep less stressed tonight and feel okay waking up every couple hours because he wants the boob. From a new mom that feels lost, like I'm sure all the new moms feel, thank you so much.

Kaylea

1/8/2021 08:58:44 pm

Ohmygod! Thank you, you helped clear alot of things I was wondering. I thought I was broken... My 3.5 month old feeds every 2 hours on the dot, unless she stays a nap in between feeds and it could stretch another hour or 2. And normally sleeps through the night. Once and a while wakes up for a feed and back to sleep she goes.

Veronica

1/14/2021 02:59:59 am

Thank you. I needed to read this.

Mimi

1/21/2021 04:10:49 pm

Thank you so so much for this article. I know it’s years down the line from you originally writing it but I was just getting to a crunch point with my little 3.5 month old feeding every 40 minutes and thinking I was doing something wrong or there was something wrong with him. He was born on the 7th centile and now is tracking the 50th so weight wise there’s no issues so it was totally all societal expectations getting to me and I was worried if I spoke to someone about it (HV etc) they’d tell me it was all wrong and I should space feedings which I think deep down I know is not a solution. Thank you for the reassurance - I’m sitting on my sofa with a happy, sleepy, well fed baby!

Laura

2/9/2021 08:02:57 pm

This is both reassuring and depressing at the same time. As a working mom who needs my baby to eat on a somewhat predictable schedule, is formula my only option? I was hoping to keep breastfeeding at least partially after going back to work, but I have to be able to schedule meetings and court conferences and what not, and get at least some sleep in solid intervals to function. Not to mention, right now I am only getting a couple hours of chores and other things done per day because I am spending so much time feeding. I'm not able to pump enough to build up a stash for when I go back to work, so should I just accept that he's going to have to go back on formula when my maternity leave is up?

Emma Pickett

2/19/2021 03:21:26 pm

Hi Laura,
I'm not sure how old your baby is now but the short answer is that things can change fast. In a matter of weeks, they can develop completely different patterns. How old will they be when you go back to work? If you are away from your baby, and they are bottlefeeding, they may also develop different patterns. It might be worth speaking with a local La Leche League Leader or IBCLC as there may be tricks to increasing your pumping stash e.g. using hands on pumping or using a silicone catcher style pump while feeding.

Liz

2/27/2021 09:20:57 am

Thank you so much for this post! My baby drinks every 2 hours and your post makes me feel so much better. So much negative opinions have made exclusively breastfeeding really difficult for me (but have stuck with it) :)

Priya

4/20/2021 11:32:13 am

Hi i am ftm and my baby is 3 month old ... when she born i breastfeed her but when times goes she is not latching properly we give her a formula and after a week she has a jaundice soo overall i think my supply is to low thats why she suffer ... from then every 2 hour i feed her with formula and i pump twice or thrice a day. Then i want to breastfeed her rather than bottle bt my thoughts was that i am not producing enough and even at 3 month i usually wake her and feed her every 2 hour and she only take 2 oz and sleep ..so i m worried about that she is not eating well at her age. And even after 4-5 hr she is not hungry

Ola

6/4/2021 02:55:05 pm

Hi! I would see your local lactation advisor. I struggled at first. My milk didn't come till day 10 and I had a large baby with jaundice so he was combination fed. When he was 7 weeks I managed to be only breastfeeding. Long story short I had him on my boob 24/7 with Netflix for 5 days and I managed to bump up my supplies. I started with 3 bottles per day of formula and then when he had formula I expressed and put him on again..
Also night is better to increase supplies so he was basically sleeping on my boob:not ideal but made it better.

Ive never overproduced but it was always enough :) I bf him 13 months and now my daughter is 2 months and im doing combination one night bottle with her by choice :)

Ola

6/4/2021 02:12:27 pm

Hi,
I honestly wish I was told about you and I read this when my son was a baby. I had PND and I was so insecure about everything. He was on my boob non stop and I was so upset and angry about it. Most of mums from my baby group were bottle formula feeding and I remember that negative feeling that I couldn't do much around the house or even go for a walk without him screaming for a boob where my friend’s babies were 3-4h between feeds..

Now- 18 months later I am a 2nd time mum, more experienced and more aware! I did my reading right this time! My daughter is feeding, sleeping and living on demand. The only thing I count are her wet and dirty nappies. I am lucky not to have PND again which made me thinking clearly!

I heard so many times from my close friends: ‘I remember your son, I don't want to breastfeed, I will do bottle’.
And it breaks my heart that I was so anti.. as with both of my kids I enjoy it so much! But it took me to have another child to be more happy about sharing it.

Salwq link

1/10/2022 01:22:21 pm

I am so grateful to have had my baby in a birthing centre with Midwives who are very pro natural and have so much knowledge of aftercare and feeding.

When I had my little boy he was slwwpy rhe first 48 hours and I had to wake him every 3 hours by 72 hours he was qaking himself every 2 hours at night and 3 hours in the day. After 3 weeks he was feeding more frequently. When I spoke to my Modwofe about this and the terrible inforamtion online feom sleep consultants and self proclaimed experts and Moms of 5 or moms of 11. She told me to ignore it. Bsbies under 3 months need to pack on the weight and need to feed on demand don't try push them onto a routine / schedule. She told me to let them lead the way. She was horrofied that thwre are mums on Youtube promoting "sleeping through the night" at 3 weeks / 6 weeks etc. She said this is harmful to other mothers and can be dangerous to baby.

Even with this information I did still feel a bit rubbish as many mentioned in the comments at one stage Bubba was feeding every 45mins at night yes! But that lasted 3 days. And what I realised was due to a growth spurt. As many said I had no life my life revolved around baby and I dont think I have / had PND but started to resent being a mother and didn't enjoy it. Especially as Bubba has Silent reflux which adds more complexity to the feeding and sleeping.

BUT I started to get more useful and actual factual info from Drs and qualified people. All you need to check is Babies output. And with that 100% bubba is getring more then enough he has 8 poopy nappies a day anf wees loads! My Gp said that Boys are hungrier and will need more calories and will cluster feed some more then others but assured me forget all the Mums boasting about their babies sleeping through the night at 8 weeks or 12 weeks. Every baby is different and mother too.

Also his weight has been fantastic. My Midwife said 22g a week os average but he is doing roughly 33-34g a week which is amazing and testimony to my milk being good and more then enough.

I have had unhelpful comments when he feeds often or when he wakes amd cries demanding milk one comment i get often is "maybe your milk is not nourshing enough for him". I stop them dead in their tracks. My baby has nearly doubled his weight, he poops 8 times a day and has many wet nappies and his development is well ahead most others. His social amiles amd interactions started early etc. Even the Midwife was amazed at his growth and development so my Milk must be very nourishing and more then enough. That usually shuts them up but a lot of people have that backward mentality.

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The Dangerous Game of the Feeding Interval Obsession

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Author:
Emma Pickett IBCLC

Find me on twitter: @makesmilk

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The Dangerous Game of the Feeding Interval Obsession

Leave a Reply.

Author:Emma Pickett IBCLCFind me on twitter: @makesmilkFind me on pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/makesmilk/youve-got-it-in-you-a-positive-guide-to-breastfeed/

Categories

Archives

Author:
Emma Pickett IBCLC

Find me on twitter: @makesmilk

Find me on pinterest:
https://www.pinterest.com/makesmilk/youve-got-it-in-you-a-positive-guide-to-breastfeed/